31.8.09
i have been very pessimistic.
due to some reasons.
and i have changed.
from bad to worse.
too much self - pity.
I m sick and tired of things going the way they are.
I tried doing things to make them better but it
doesn't seem to work.
somehow, they dun wanna go the way i want them to go.
i hate myself for not being able to change things to make them better.
I also realise that I have no life.
I am a low life.
my shelf life is quite short.
when pple need me, they find me.
when they do find something new and have better things in their lives,
they forget bout me.
invisible has been my middle name since childhood.
even when i had a good strong circle of frens
during sec school,
It is still the same.
U have problems u come to me.
U're happy, u flit off socialising with others.
in the end, u become best frens with others and u forget ur old frens.
so maybe there is no sucha thing as best fren 4eva.
sue me if u think its wrong speaking my mind.
even having a bloody bf is useless.
the risk of me getting high blood pressure and heart attack has just increased.
i used to be much3 more contented with wat i have.
but rite now evrything seems so useless.
i am so angry.
really.
due to some reasons.
and i have changed.
from bad to worse.
too much self - pity.
I m sick and tired of things going the way they are.
I tried doing things to make them better but it
doesn't seem to work.
somehow, they dun wanna go the way i want them to go.
i hate myself for not being able to change things to make them better.
I also realise that I have no life.
I am a low life.
my shelf life is quite short.
when pple need me, they find me.
when they do find something new and have better things in their lives,
they forget bout me.
invisible has been my middle name since childhood.
even when i had a good strong circle of frens
during sec school,
It is still the same.
U have problems u come to me.
U're happy, u flit off socialising with others.
in the end, u become best frens with others and u forget ur old frens.
so maybe there is no sucha thing as best fren 4eva.
sue me if u think its wrong speaking my mind.
even having a bloody bf is useless.
the risk of me getting high blood pressure and heart attack has just increased.
i used to be much3 more contented with wat i have.
but rite now evrything seems so useless.
i am so angry.
really.
ClazZiQuai CT, 5:30:00 PM
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27.8.09
QUICKIE.
as boring as life is rite now,
I am grateful.
I rediscovered why I fell in love with Kal in
the first place.
However pointless evryone sees my r/s with Kal may be,
based on the history of us throughout the past
4 yrs and counting,
I find joy in being with him.
the joy that i cannot find within my TOO-BIG-A-FAMILY.
my parents tend to have favourites and somehow it is clear
who they love more.
like but love.
it hurts me at times but hey, I am the eldest and
I have to learn how to suffer and be independent.
though I thirst for their affection and acknowledgement,
I noe, that, sometimes, there is not much left for me.
I noe they love me,
maybe,
its just not as much as they love my siblings.
and its time I learn to stop chasing for it.
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:27:00 AM
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24.8.09
apparently, it windy like crazy outside.
and my sisters are bickering over a toothbrush.
I have to wake Kal up @ 6 plus l8er for work.
and I have to have a mental workplan mapped out in my head.
I should write it down though.
I keep forgetting a lot of things nowadays.
I had a great time breaking fast yesterday @ Kal's.
despite being only the two of us and having only
prata, macaroni, jemput2...
haha, okay maybe its a lot.
but i couldn't finish all.
even just now, i ate so little for the pre-dawn meal.
So much has been going on.
I still couldn't find work.
It's been difficult.
but I'll try again.
oh Tika, thnxx for helping out so far in Job-mailing.
bahaha.
no, seriously.
thank you dearest babe.
I have been watching Kahwin Massal on youtube.
hehehe...
starring one and only..
jeng3..
AGNES MONICA!!!
i noe.
its quite a mediocre romcom indonesian drama.
must get going.
I'm having a migraine, again.
and my sisters are bickering over a toothbrush.
I have to wake Kal up @ 6 plus l8er for work.
and I have to have a mental workplan mapped out in my head.
I should write it down though.
I keep forgetting a lot of things nowadays.
I had a great time breaking fast yesterday @ Kal's.
despite being only the two of us and having only
prata, macaroni, jemput2...
haha, okay maybe its a lot.
but i couldn't finish all.
even just now, i ate so little for the pre-dawn meal.
So much has been going on.
I still couldn't find work.
It's been difficult.
but I'll try again.
oh Tika, thnxx for helping out so far in Job-mailing.
bahaha.
no, seriously.
thank you dearest babe.
I have been watching Kahwin Massal on youtube.
hehehe...
starring one and only..
jeng3..
AGNES MONICA!!!
i noe.
its quite a mediocre romcom indonesian drama.
must get going.
I'm having a migraine, again.
ClazZiQuai CT, 5:33:00 AM
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22.8.09
i think no matter how much u try to persuade
sisters to complete their designated housewerk,
there are bound to be quarrels and the smattering of
unkind words thrown in the air.
I, for once, am not getting involved with
any of their quarrels and fade quietly into the background.
and the funny thing is their quarrels are over
the most simplest of things:
replacing the dry laundry with the wet ones.
In accordance to the Treaty that was agreed upon,
It seems that GH just wouldnt want to comply with the T&C.
not that it matters when both parties are busy with their sch
during the weekdays.
How is it that having to do your housework just once a week
such a hassle??
You tell me.
sisters to complete their designated housewerk,
there are bound to be quarrels and the smattering of
unkind words thrown in the air.
I, for once, am not getting involved with
any of their quarrels and fade quietly into the background.
and the funny thing is their quarrels are over
the most simplest of things:
replacing the dry laundry with the wet ones.
In accordance to the Treaty that was agreed upon,
It seems that GH just wouldnt want to comply with the T&C.
not that it matters when both parties are busy with their sch
during the weekdays.
How is it that having to do your housework just once a week
such a hassle??
You tell me.
ClazZiQuai CT, 7:14:00 AM
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as much as I want to find my channel of escapism,
its simply un-found.
I have to prepare myself for the fasting month,
which has already started,
plus a future which is already uncertain.
my love life is stabilising, Alhamdulillah.
But again I stress, its just too soon to say much.
My parents are on silent mode with me.
I really wonder wat is up,
I have no idea wat i did, or even better
wat they heard abt me.
I noe I tried my best to be filial and good,
let's give it a rest shall we?
Besides that, I am dumbfounded at the fact that
a lot of pple are avoiding me.
or maybe sorta ignoring my existence.
Diploma's ready for collection within this month.
I really thank Allah for making my path to achieve this Diploma,
a smooth one albeit the personal turmoil.
I am unworthy of this life that I lead,
I need to be more grateful.
I am never satisfied with what I had in the past.
Now I learn to appreciate things better.
Ramadhan will be a new beginning for me,
I really, really hope.
I need to cleanse myself , recharge and rejuvenate.
My best friend now is destroying her own future and
I watching it unable to do anything.
Screaming or ignoring her will do nth much.
If she reads this, then it good.
Watever u do, do it for a good cause.
Make sure it benefits you.
I haven't been there for you,
but I have been thinking and praying for you.
safety and all.
Time for me to get some shut eye,
before I get up again for pre-dawn meal.
Insyaallah, I can fast for most of the days this time round.
I miss u Haikal.
ClazZiQuai CT, 1:12:00 AM
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20.8.09
currently @ my grandma's hse.
mum and kakak mona went to pasar geylang to buy household stuff
for the upcoming fasting month.
I cnt wait for the fasting mnth.
and it seems that I cannot wait for Hari Raya.
hehe.
I bought a Baju Raya oredi.
went shopping with Abidah a mnth back and her mum blanja
me and WB a baju raya each.
mines dark red while my sis has a yellow suit.
hmm..
i loike!!
I am suffering from migraine nowadays.
bad ones too.
esp on my left side of the head.
they hurt real bad.
and I miss School.
ever since sch ended, I feel so bored and empty
somehow.
=(
neways, I have to go meet Ayu l8er.
I hope she's alright.
update soonish.
toodles.
ClazZiQuai CT, 8:08:00 AM
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19.8.09
now i can't go on without u,
im naked, i cant fake it
i'm not that strong without u
nvr thought i could love you
the way i do....
Kal sang that to me on the phn.
hehe.
sho shweet...
My emotions can be topsy turvy at times.
but most of the time, I noe I love him.
despite the fact that he does stupid things that gets me hurt.
and he I noe he loves me too.
despite being an ass.
harhar.
Spent time with Kal yesterday.
Had a great time.
He kept asking me whether I notice any changes in his behaviour.
I said ader.
but its too early to tell.
and dat's beginning to be my fav line.
for anyone's similar question.
=D
I guess,
somethings we can gauge and be sure of,
but other things are a little difficult to fathom.
Brain is functioning in override.
I am having more sleepless nites.
restless as i am,
i tried my best to come to terms with my probs.
but sumhow,
things aren't looking rosy any sooner.
I have finished school and its left with finding a career.
Kal has told me to find smthing that interests me.
the prob is,
i dunno what I like to do.
-_-""
I noe.
I'm confused.
Hopefully, with the fasting mnth nearing,
I'LL HIT A JACKPOT WITHIN THE JOB SECTOR!!
BAHAHAHA.
ClazZiQuai CT, 8:02:00 AM
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18.8.09
just got home.
spent time de-stressing @ my kakak shina's hse.
as i got hme,
the room was as usual.. in a mess.
I was too tired to clean up the room.
i just thot " let's make it messier shall we?"
but then I jugak have to kemas.
then i was walking towards the door
when i saw the railing where u can fold ur telekong neatly and
hang it over the railing.
and as I could have guessed,
even folding a telekong is such a BIG chore.
i picked up both my sis telekong and threw it on their bed,
not caring where it landed.
I noe i shouldn't have done dat,
but heck.
I dun wanna care.
SICK AND TIRED.
Labels: get that into ur brains, sisters.
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:35:00 AM
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16.8.09
Lampost
am ignored at home like a fly on a wall.
Ibu does not want to talk to me directly.
as if I have some kind of disease.
wat have i done, I have no idea.
Ayah doing the same too.
Polat is just being plain rude.
Here's wat I see:
comparing to the layanan given to my siblings and me.
i've always felt, like the odd one out.
I sometimes just have the feeling that I dun belong.
My parents have always given me the pressure of being a good role model.
I have a lil of a naughty streak.
And tend to be rebellious towards my parents @ times.
though I did hurt them.
I always say sorrie and try to mend my ways.
esp for the Major issues.
but it always ends up me being ignored.
even how nice sincerely nice and filial I be.
In contrast, my other siblings are given their attn 24/7, 365.
my mum will always ask them wat she wun in a million years ask me,
" dah mkn? kalau blom, ibu ader tinggalkan makanan sikit tu."
she nvr leaves me any food.
no one ever has.
I do it all the time, even though sometimes the food mmng sikit,
i will always set aside at least three suaps of something.
another big contrast is the attn she gives to those having major exams.
when I had my PSLE, O levels, she nvr bothered with me about smbhyng extras,
bace surah aper during belajar, or during exam.
whether i had any problems in sch or with frens.
With my adek2, its a different story.
she is so concerned that she prepares dinner make sure they eat,
do their work, fuss over their schoolwork.
make sure they are healthy,
if they are sick, she will make sure they eat mediction and porridge.
I have been feeling this way for years.
there was nvr a time when i can actually feel like a daughter and appreciated.
The situation now is worse as
my family members are treating me like I am a housemaid.
they dun care aboutthe cleanliness of the toilet,
which sometimes reeks of urine.
I guess the toilet bowl isn't big enuff.
Housechores are all pushed to me.
laundry, sweeping, washing, hanging, drying, mopping.
one day, I might as well just sit at home and be a housewife, instead of my mum.
Respect btwn me and my siblings are just...
senanng kata, they have no respect for me,
and they take me as a maid in the house.
might as well just disappear.
it seems no one cares abt me anymore.
Ibu does not want to talk to me directly.
as if I have some kind of disease.
wat have i done, I have no idea.
Ayah doing the same too.
Polat is just being plain rude.
Here's wat I see:
comparing to the layanan given to my siblings and me.
i've always felt, like the odd one out.
I sometimes just have the feeling that I dun belong.
My parents have always given me the pressure of being a good role model.
I have a lil of a naughty streak.
And tend to be rebellious towards my parents @ times.
though I did hurt them.
I always say sorrie and try to mend my ways.
esp for the Major issues.
but it always ends up me being ignored.
even how nice sincerely nice and filial I be.
In contrast, my other siblings are given their attn 24/7, 365.
my mum will always ask them wat she wun in a million years ask me,
" dah mkn? kalau blom, ibu ader tinggalkan makanan sikit tu."
she nvr leaves me any food.
no one ever has.
I do it all the time, even though sometimes the food mmng sikit,
i will always set aside at least three suaps of something.
another big contrast is the attn she gives to those having major exams.
when I had my PSLE, O levels, she nvr bothered with me about smbhyng extras,
bace surah aper during belajar, or during exam.
whether i had any problems in sch or with frens.
With my adek2, its a different story.
she is so concerned that she prepares dinner make sure they eat,
do their work, fuss over their schoolwork.
make sure they are healthy,
if they are sick, she will make sure they eat mediction and porridge.
I have been feeling this way for years.
there was nvr a time when i can actually feel like a daughter and appreciated.
The situation now is worse as
my family members are treating me like I am a housemaid.
they dun care aboutthe cleanliness of the toilet,
which sometimes reeks of urine.
I guess the toilet bowl isn't big enuff.
Housechores are all pushed to me.
laundry, sweeping, washing, hanging, drying, mopping.
one day, I might as well just sit at home and be a housewife, instead of my mum.
Respect btwn me and my siblings are just...
senanng kata, they have no respect for me,
and they take me as a maid in the house.
might as well just disappear.
it seems no one cares abt me anymore.
ClazZiQuai CT, 8:54:00 PM
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currently sitting @ my uncle's hse.
hahah.
my cousins want to halau me from their hse.
haha.
coz they keep asking me when I going home.
maybe a bit l8er.
hmm...
My mum has been acting a lil moody.
actually.. very MOODY.
i dunno why.
bcoz of me??
I dunno.
I am very stressed up when it comes to my mum
and evrytime she gets moody or down,
I will always think its bcoz of me.
I dunno whether it is really my fault a not.
hmm..
I have been discussing things with Kal.
about jobs and stuff.
Alhamdullillah, he's been willing to open up his mind.
but I can't be too sure how long it will last.
He has a tendancy to, u noe, go back on his words.
watever it is, i hope that he has really open up his mind.
pray for me.
Amin.
and I hope evrything good will come our way soon.
Fasting month will be the start of it all.
=D
hahah.
my cousins want to halau me from their hse.
haha.
coz they keep asking me when I going home.
maybe a bit l8er.
hmm...
My mum has been acting a lil moody.
actually.. very MOODY.
i dunno why.
bcoz of me??
I dunno.
I am very stressed up when it comes to my mum
and evrytime she gets moody or down,
I will always think its bcoz of me.
I dunno whether it is really my fault a not.
hmm..
I have been discussing things with Kal.
about jobs and stuff.
Alhamdullillah, he's been willing to open up his mind.
but I can't be too sure how long it will last.
He has a tendancy to, u noe, go back on his words.
watever it is, i hope that he has really open up his mind.
pray for me.
Amin.
and I hope evrything good will come our way soon.
Fasting month will be the start of it all.
=D
ClazZiQuai CT, 5:29:00 PM
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14.8.09
200th post.
it seems like evryone has smt to do and something to attend to.
i'm stuck here with basically nth.
and i am still complaining.
i feel so dumb.
currently irritated with the situations in my house.
I have officially become the cleaner.
and I realise that evryone thinks I am.
I have a lot of things that I am unsatisfied with in Life rite now.
and i feel like throwing evrything and evryone outside the window.
as if i can.
stressed as I am, I have no one to turn to.
Kal's not being a great help either.
I noe that he is stressed out as he is with his mum and bro,
financially and emotionally.
it seems dat he is hanging on to me for dear life as I am to him.
but as assured I am of us,
I need to crack my brain of a way to make him see far
into he future.
Maybe this time I nailed it, fingers crossed.
Amin.
Kal's changing, bit by bit.
And I noe he can.
He needs time.
and the encouragement.
And I hope I can get him there.
Sisterhood, I MISS YOU BABES.
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:27:00 AM
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13.8.09
OMG OMG.
I LOVE THIS!!!haha.
I have a weakness for maxi dresses.
i just love them.
Maybe coz its simple.
and i love the colour.
the sleeves esp.
I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the thing is..
its 37 bucks.
oh... its from studiofrost.net.
they have amazing clothes.
but here's the catch: they won't be there for long.
this dress's pic was posted on 10 aug.
i guess by then i save up enuff money,
its gone.
boooooooo...
I LOVE THIS!!!haha.
I have a weakness for maxi dresses.
i just love them.
Maybe coz its simple.
and i love the colour.
the sleeves esp.
I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the thing is..
its 37 bucks.
oh... its from studiofrost.net.
they have amazing clothes.
but here's the catch: they won't be there for long.
this dress's pic was posted on 10 aug.
i guess by then i save up enuff money,
its gone.
boooooooo...
ClazZiQuai CT, 1:05:00 AM
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ClazZiQuai CT, 1:05:00 AM
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12.8.09
Struggling.
i haven't been updating.
busy.
a lot has been going on in my life that I
sometimes dun think I can catch up.
Family wise isn't so great as well as r/s wise.
I guess its not time for me to be
whining and complaining.
I have to do something to improve on wat
I intend to do.
Wish me luck.
busy.
a lot has been going on in my life that I
sometimes dun think I can catch up.
Family wise isn't so great as well as r/s wise.
I guess its not time for me to be
whining and complaining.
I have to do something to improve on wat
I intend to do.
Wish me luck.
ClazZiQuai CT, 4:21:00 PM
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10.8.09
Agitated and Depressed
aren't u the one acting strange??
i guess u running off with no warning
sounds
like a very strange thing to do. u noe wat??
I might be giving up on u soon if u
dun change and tell me wth is going on.
Maybe u making promises are just words
that come out of that mouth.
Tired as I am of going after u,
this time round maybe i'll stay put and make YOU
run after me.
i guess u running off with no warning
sounds
like a very strange thing to do. u noe wat??
I might be giving up on u soon if u
dun change and tell me wth is going on.
Maybe u making promises are just words
that come out of that mouth.
Tired as I am of going after u,
this time round maybe i'll stay put and make YOU
run after me.
ClazZiQuai CT, 1:47:00 AM
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9.8.09
i just went thru HDB website to check up on flats.
CONFUSING.
haha.
but, there is a fiance/fiancee scheme.
i dun really understand it.
i can ask my mum bout it l8er.
i was checking it out, so if I were to apply for it,
at least I am not so gabrah.
=P
i noe, so early.
hehe.gatal sngt nak tau.
anyway, National Day for me this year,
does not feel like national day @ all.
my sense of patriotism is missing.
it went into hibernation I think.
urgh my sisters are fighting.
bising. both so irritating.
i need a masking tape.
to shut their mouth up.
CONFUSING.
haha.
but, there is a fiance/fiancee scheme.
i dun really understand it.
i can ask my mum bout it l8er.
i was checking it out, so if I were to apply for it,
at least I am not so gabrah.
=P
i noe, so early.
hehe.gatal sngt nak tau.
anyway, National Day for me this year,
does not feel like national day @ all.
my sense of patriotism is missing.
it went into hibernation I think.
urgh my sisters are fighting.
bising. both so irritating.
i need a masking tape.
to shut their mouth up.
ClazZiQuai CT, 9:40:00 PM
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this week has been so called hectic..
i just started tuition with a new student, my adik sedara, Khairul.
haha. he's big in size. and i mean REALLY BIG.
but he doesn't act like a pri 6 boy his age.
he has a personality of a pri 4 kid.
haha.
but sometimes he's adorable.
right now, my parents and my sisters are watching the NDP
on the tele.
and my neighbours has just finished cleaning up after the wedding of their son.
Ibu said that the makcik stress.
very first wedding of her family.
hehe.
the bride was beautiful.
=D
as of my personal life, i have been thinking alot.
hmm. it seems that I have plenty of time to think.
and re-think.
sitting alone in my bedroom right now just makes me feel
so peaceful.
{oh and THANK YOU MANOK!
FOR THE BAKED RICE.
HEHEH.
BNYK!}!
hehe.
well, i am just wondering when it will be my turn.
and with the situation of my r/s with Kal and his mum and my family.
haiz.
i m just confused and wonder what i will be like if i had nvr taken up this path in life.
i've just got a feeling that it might be better than now.
i just started tuition with a new student, my adik sedara, Khairul.
haha. he's big in size. and i mean REALLY BIG.
but he doesn't act like a pri 6 boy his age.
he has a personality of a pri 4 kid.
haha.
but sometimes he's adorable.
right now, my parents and my sisters are watching the NDP
on the tele.
and my neighbours has just finished cleaning up after the wedding of their son.
Ibu said that the makcik stress.
very first wedding of her family.
hehe.
the bride was beautiful.
=D
as of my personal life, i have been thinking alot.
hmm. it seems that I have plenty of time to think.
and re-think.
sitting alone in my bedroom right now just makes me feel
so peaceful.
{oh and THANK YOU MANOK!
FOR THE BAKED RICE.
HEHEH.
BNYK!}!
hehe.
well, i am just wondering when it will be my turn.
and with the situation of my r/s with Kal and his mum and my family.
haiz.
i m just confused and wonder what i will be like if i had nvr taken up this path in life.
i've just got a feeling that it might be better than now.
ClazZiQuai CT, 6:10:00 PM
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7.8.09
Frustrated
Early in the morning I got angry already.
it was an excess of yesterday, and this happens almost every month, i think.
somehow, if U think that u can expect very spick and span rooms just because u share ur bedrooms with not only one but TWO SISTERS, and i repeat its sisters not brothers, U BETTER THINK TWICE!!
I find it very irritating that I, in the end, have to clean up after them.
and not only dat, I have to clean up after all my siblings in the bathroom.
and the worst part is, after u noe u've done a tiring job cleaning up the bathroom, it only takes u a few minutes or just an hour after that to find pee stains on the toilet bowl and that wretched smell engulfing the whole entire bathroom.
and I will be blamed by my own father for not cleaning the toilet.
WHERE'S THE JUSTICE??
on top of that, i have my daily chores of sweeping floor, washing dishes and hanging he laundry. I am not complaining about having to do all these,
but,
PLEASE!!!!
DUN U THINK THAT ITS INCONSIDERATE JUST BECAUSE U HAVE SCHOOL AND U HAVE A MAJOR EXAM COMING UP, U CAN MESS THE WHOLE BLOODY HOUSE UP??
but I am grateful and lucky to have my own bed.
that is sure a plus point.
bsides that, i can tell u, even if my mum were to apply for Domestic help,
the helper would run away only after stepping in and seeing the state of the house.
it was an excess of yesterday, and this happens almost every month, i think.
somehow, if U think that u can expect very spick and span rooms just because u share ur bedrooms with not only one but TWO SISTERS, and i repeat its sisters not brothers, U BETTER THINK TWICE!!
I find it very irritating that I, in the end, have to clean up after them.
and not only dat, I have to clean up after all my siblings in the bathroom.
and the worst part is, after u noe u've done a tiring job cleaning up the bathroom, it only takes u a few minutes or just an hour after that to find pee stains on the toilet bowl and that wretched smell engulfing the whole entire bathroom.
and I will be blamed by my own father for not cleaning the toilet.
WHERE'S THE JUSTICE??
on top of that, i have my daily chores of sweeping floor, washing dishes and hanging he laundry. I am not complaining about having to do all these,
but,
PLEASE!!!!
DUN U THINK THAT ITS INCONSIDERATE JUST BECAUSE U HAVE SCHOOL AND U HAVE A MAJOR EXAM COMING UP, U CAN MESS THE WHOLE BLOODY HOUSE UP??
but I am grateful and lucky to have my own bed.
that is sure a plus point.
bsides that, i can tell u, even if my mum were to apply for Domestic help,
the helper would run away only after stepping in and seeing the state of the house.
Labels: i dun think u learnt u lesson K.
ClazZiQuai CT, 6:51:00 AM
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3.8.09
Origins.
again.. the fonts and colours are missing.
stupid blogger.
i have to wash the dishes l8er.
oh well.
I rmbered smt about wat Yasmin Ahmad said about Malays.
(i noe very random hehe)
she said dat Malays have no One origin.
for example, Chinese, they are all fair with a bit of yellow undertones.
Indians on the other hand, are more darker or fairer depending on which part
of India they originate from.
and as For the europeans, they have fair skin and different coloured eys and stuff.
wat about Malays??
for one, like wat my auntie told me,
we have no one origin.
and its clearly seen that, malays dun really have a uniform skin colour.
some of us look like indians, some caucasian, some look like chinese.
and the word Melayu...
Me - Layu...
Layu= wilt
so me-layu= to wilt.
rite??
hmm. i am not discriminting my own race or watsoever.
Its just wat i was thinking about.
Having said so, I find that pple going around and discriminating other races,
are just basically jealous of other pple's heritage.
but please, those who have a mixed ancestry, that also does not give u a right to
so called, boast about it, coz even though u may have exotic looks or watsoever
if ur behaviour is unacceptable or bad, then i guess pple will look at u as an UGLY person.
sorie2.I hope no one terase.
but its a good thing to ponder upon u noe.
and writing about all these things can always keep me sane.=D
stupid blogger.
i have to wash the dishes l8er.
oh well.
I rmbered smt about wat Yasmin Ahmad said about Malays.
(i noe very random hehe)
she said dat Malays have no One origin.
for example, Chinese, they are all fair with a bit of yellow undertones.
Indians on the other hand, are more darker or fairer depending on which part
of India they originate from.
and as For the europeans, they have fair skin and different coloured eys and stuff.
wat about Malays??
for one, like wat my auntie told me,
we have no one origin.
and its clearly seen that, malays dun really have a uniform skin colour.
some of us look like indians, some caucasian, some look like chinese.
and the word Melayu...
Me - Layu...
Layu= wilt
so me-layu= to wilt.
rite??
hmm. i am not discriminting my own race or watsoever.
Its just wat i was thinking about.
Having said so, I find that pple going around and discriminating other races,
are just basically jealous of other pple's heritage.
but please, those who have a mixed ancestry, that also does not give u a right to
so called, boast about it, coz even though u may have exotic looks or watsoever
if ur behaviour is unacceptable or bad, then i guess pple will look at u as an UGLY person.
sorie2.I hope no one terase.
but its a good thing to ponder upon u noe.
and writing about all these things can always keep me sane.=D
ClazZiQuai CT, 10:21:00 AM
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2.8.09
i think i am having PMS soon
hahah.. i just posted on facebook a comment that i was supposed to put on someone's wall.
wth!
hahah
neways..
i was a bit off mood with Kal just now.
i just finished putting his ironed pants on the bed.
ader ke patut dier campak the pants on the floor again??
and doing purposefully just because he was angry and tired to go to work.
haiya..
gtg..
wanna watch awan dania!!!
hahah.. i just posted on facebook a comment that i was supposed to put on someone's wall.
wth!
hahah
neways..
i was a bit off mood with Kal just now.
i just finished putting his ironed pants on the bed.
ader ke patut dier campak the pants on the floor again??
and doing purposefully just because he was angry and tired to go to work.
haiya..
gtg..
wanna watch awan dania!!!
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:31:00 AM
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1.8.09
Dreams
I've watched 4-5 hrs worth of Awan Dania.
LOL.
its funnie the way a tomboy dreams of becoming a flight attendant.
but hey, evryone can dream big, can't they?
and almost evryone thinks dat an FA has to be all demure and polite and gentle.
the straight and narrow minded will have that kind of perception.
well, i cannot be a person to judge another when i have many flaws
and no identifiable strengths.
i was just wondering wat if I myself became an FA or maybe the person at the ticketing area @
the terminal?????
hmm...
i'll dream alrite..
till then..
mushy, soft marshmallow-y dreams...
=O
yawning..
LOL.
its funnie the way a tomboy dreams of becoming a flight attendant.
but hey, evryone can dream big, can't they?
and almost evryone thinks dat an FA has to be all demure and polite and gentle.
the straight and narrow minded will have that kind of perception.
well, i cannot be a person to judge another when i have many flaws
and no identifiable strengths.
i was just wondering wat if I myself became an FA or maybe the person at the ticketing area @
the terminal?????
hmm...
i'll dream alrite..
till then..
mushy, soft marshmallow-y dreams...
=O
yawning..
ClazZiQuai CT, 2:39:00 AM
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