29.6.09
alhamdulillah.
good news.
Kal's swab's negative.
=D
i still dunno wt time he will be discharged.
the hospital is taking an awful long time to dispense the medicine.
but i guess we can't blame them.
coz rite now, healthcare personnels are working extra hard
to ensure good service despite
the climbing number of the infected.
however, that doesn't mean that they can anyhow discharge a person,
sans the fact that the patient is still infected.
oh well.
i salute all healthcare workers.
be it nurses or admin.
or doctors or surgeons.
or even the hospital cleaners.
seriously.
thumbs up!!
ur bravery during the SARS and even now,
H1N1 ,
is astounding.
28.6.09
.haven necessity.
i wanna run away.
my sibling's arguement with each other are
reaching my patience's breaking point.
if i lose my temper, there is no limit to how bad i will kerjakan
them.
Khidhir is beyond parental control.
his behavior is sickenng.
i am wondering wat will make his fucking big mouth shut.
he is a guy, mulut mcm pantat ayam.
he thinks that evryone is against him,
but he is making pple go against him,
with he assholic behaviour.
i dun care if he or any other family member reads this blog.
i have no idea of how to make him realise that he is hurting a lot of pple.
i for once , wanna give up,
but he's my brother.
i am to live with him till i die.
mum did not give up on me when i was problematic.
so i should not too.
i really need to run away.
i really need a place where i can find solace.
i need a place where i can be alone with my tots and release myself
with all the
pent-up stress.
.bored.
i've nothing to post.
Kal's swab is still positive.
i dunno when he can be discharged.
haiz.
hmm.
same old same old.
nth new.
i guess dat's all.
tata.
26.6.09
Freedom!!
enjoying my day outside.
padahal, duduk umah jer.
i only went out for a game of badminton.
hahah.
workout selepas 3 days sitting besarkan pantat kat umah.
hahah.
okay.officially insane.
anywho, i am happy to hear from Kal, he is better, much2 better.
no more fever.
only positive swabs.
i wonder when it will be negative.
on the other hand, Kal's mum is sick.
went in for testing, i still dunno the result. hopefully she's fine. =D
nth much to update.
might be going out to listen to syarahan tml at al-iman.
heehee.
mum says it will be good. hmm.
oh oh oh...
i miss sisterhood..
heheh..
miss korang bnyk2!!!
25.6.09
4th, Final Day.
he is experiencing the side effects from the tamiflu.
i have just taken mine.
yeay!
tml freedom!!
bahahaha.
i am still worried for Kal.
hopefully he can be discharged soon.
his condition's stable.
alhamdulillah.
WB's blog is up.
i finished editing it.
like FINALLY.
=P
post again soon.
mum's making cheng tng(i dunno how to spell it.)
tata.
i am ignoring the pain in my stomach.
pain, pain go away.
the headache is coming.
i can feel it.
the dream is bugging me again.
it's my turn to go.
24.6.09
side effects:nausea,vomiting,diarrhoea, stomachache & headache.
rarely,serious reactions: severe allergy;rash, breathelessness
& behavioural disturbances; hallucinations
it's 11 pm.
i am still wide awake.
just finished watching The Uninvited.
was more of a thriller rather than horror.
i was quite impressed with the storyline.
but hey, i have very weird tastes.
bahaha.
i have been taking my temp daily.
i din noe dat my body temp does not even reach 37 degrees C.
the wonders of our bodies.
i think i am cold-blooded.
*lol to myself*
Kal's better.
however, his swab is still tested him for being positive.
goodness.
fever has subsided.
i am still worried.
iloveyou.
3rd Day
taken the tamiflu.
once a day, ten days in all.
erm, Kal better. nt to mention his wisdom tooth is aching.
again.
so far, there were visitors.
dun worry. not to visit me.
to check whether i am staying and following the
QUARANTINE order.
tml is my last day of quarantine order.
i'm allowed out after 11pm.
bahaha.
i miss going to my secret spot.
anyone??
23.6.09
2nd Day.
erm.
i have been reading, sighing, watching tele, kolling Kal, playing the com.
Kal's up in ***.
compared to my house, he is like, in luxury.
sans the fact that he has to stay put in that place facing four walls.
i blardie miss him.
irresponsible citizen has went arnd and Kal got it.
these pple has no brain.
besides that, WB has been bugging me to help her
do-up her blog.
she was so fickle minded that it took
more than 7 hrs to find at least a blogskin.
hmm.
ooohh..
S'pore is searching for a Blogger to blog about
the upcoming S'pore Idol competition.
hurhur.
i am bored.
!!!
22.6.09
Quarantined.
21.6.09
slowly, evrything is bcoming a big mess.
my emotions are topsy turvy as we speak.
connections btwn me and Kal are fine.
i m worried for him.
damn worried.
i hope Allah protects him.
Amin.
20.6.09
has taken a toll on my body and mind.
sometimes i even think that those trivial matters are somewhat petty.
i spent the night @ nenek's yesterdae.
she's well.
but a lil strange.
there was a domestic prob though.
lazy 2 elaborate.
Currently
funnie.
the kids are cute but a chore.
haha.
i like the one with the afro.
i miss sisterhood $1 and ayu.
and my other dudes and dudettes.
Kal, kiter doakn dier takde pape.
Amin.
hmm.
bored to the core.
17.6.09
A Post of Confessions
its been bugging me a lot.
i haven't been a good person neither have i been that bad.
i will have to confess to things in one way or another sooner or l8er.
i have been keeping snippets of secrets.
some of which pple will noe.
i am wondering if i wanna make the blog private.
here goes nth.
let's start with something that started everything else.
as ashamed i am to say anything,
or rather, confess,
i have not attended school for 3 years plus.
why?
coz i vowed to myself that i will go to school once Kal gets to go to school.
why?
bcoz i cannot imagine losing him.
i was being naive back then and i only realise the severity of it now.
i made my parents worried shit bout me.
i made my aunt not talk to me for almost 2 years.
i made evryone disappointed.
and now,
after three years plus,
its all coming back.
the guilt,
haunting me.
i never blamed Kal for wat i did.
coz i did it out of my own free will.
so whenever i hear of same story and pple going like
''wat the hell is his person thinking, not wanting to go sch just
coz his bf/gf is not in the same sch?''
most of the time i will just keep quiet.
i will just smile and not say much.
i, however, blamed myself for affecting his grades.
he has only (insert) credits to his O's
while i have all 7.
i blame myself for not being able to inspire him.
i noe he is smart.
but with all the fights and stuff.
its affected him.
nobody noes wat both of us have been thru.
i have deserted my best of frens just for this guy.
i have to stop now.
i cannot carry on.
15.6.09
went to see Kal just now.
he looks sooooo tired.
his work keeps calling him back during his off days.
poor thing.
hehe.
anyway, i boarded the bus 187 and there was no seat so i stood
by the door.
then when it arrived @ BBDC,
there was a seat available so i sat down
bside this elderly malay woman.
into the journey, she started talking to me
i was surprised.
then she started asking where i lived, whether i was still schooling or working.
i replied as best as i could.
she was just so cute.
hehe.
then.
nearing my stop,
she advised me to study hard, and get a good job.
be a good gal, and other similar stuff.
she even told me, dun go home so late at nite.
if in the evening is fine.
she just reminded me so much of Cik Kamisah, whom i lost contact with.
she also reminded me of my nenek,
when she was still well.
somehow, it almost made me cry.
i just felt tat someone like this elderly woman shows care and concern to a stranger like me.
his is damn rare.
okay i wanna cry.
this is so heartfelt.
haha. cyty so emo.
oh well.
post again soon.
14.6.09
A glimpse of my thoughts.
i tried to entertain myself with words.
reading, reading, reading.
television programmes are getting lamer.
wat's even worse, the chaos in my house.
ruckus.
i feel like screaming on the top of my lungs.
i want peace and quiet just for one day.
i wonder when it will be.
missing.
he's at home sleeping i guess.
i am sitting in front of this damned monitor.
there is a wedding celebration.
someone's singing, no,
SCREECHING on the mic.
to the song HALO.
goodness.
rain it is gonna be soon.
i am still thinking bout that dream.
so far there is a death oredi.
well a malaysian actor.
nenek dah lain mcm, Ibu said.
i am emotionless.
12.6.09
currently watching changeling.
again.
the story is just so intruiging.
ohh. i rmbr smt.
just now while otw home with Kal,
i saw this very beautiful cat.
gorgeous i tell you.
i will call it a she.
she has a long tail,
big light greenish eyes,
white fur with patches of the lightest grey you've ever seen.
it was adorable.
i attracted its attention.
and i tot it was hungry.
so i gave her food.
a small portion of my Naked Fish fish and chips.
she ate it up as i walked away.
Kal was like, she's hungry.
hehe.
we sat down someplace to eat the rest of the food.
i was still thinking of the cat.
Kal looked at me and said, why not you tinggalkan sikit of the fish,
then we go look for the cat l8er.
hehe, sweet.
so after eating, we went and search for the cat.
it was still there.
so i went over and it came running as it saw me walking towards it.
so i gave her the last piece of fish.
she just nosed it but din wanna eat.
we started to walk away,
thinking she din want us to see it eat.
but she followed us.
running alongside with me.occasionally stopping,
looking at me with its cute and big eyes..
awwww....
i couldn't bring it home.
as much as i wanted to.
okay.
dah.
hehehe..
still thinking of the cat..
with Kal.
off i go now.
need to meet Kal at the interchange.
bye y'all.
p.s.that dream is really bothering me.i can't get anything done.
11.6.09
i spent....
3 to 4 hrs trying to perfect this blardie skin...
urgh.. seriously.. time consuming.
and i am still not satisfied with it.
i am still thinking about stuff.
like in the previous post.
oh.
sorrie if the blog seems kinda messy.
maklumlah, just tried out to change and fiddle with things here n there.
my hand, itchy.
hahah.

Kal just msged.
he misses me.
aww.. soo tweet..
hehe.
okay enjoy my new blog.
still nt satisfied yet.
i wanna tweak smt.
i have been to facebook, i cannot open my FARM TOWN!!!!
boo.
i have been thinking about wat to do after this Diploma thingy.
i wanna work.
save money.
and kahwin.
BAHAHAHAHAA.
no. SERIOUSLY.
but the thing is.
nak keje jadi aper?
pening ah head.

tee-hee.
u babes will be missed once this Dip is over.
boo.
two nights ago. i had a dream
that my tooth chipped bit by bit and i eventually pulled it out.
the pain was so life-like.
it felt so real.
and a few mins ago.
Kal called me.
saying he had a dream that his tooth was painful and pulled it out too.
it was only then I told him bout the same dream.
was it a coincidence?
hmm.
One of Kal's fren once said that if u dreamt that ur tooth got pulled out,
someone very close to u will pass away soon.
now, i am totally scared.
the thing is now playing over and over in my head.
goodness.
oh and nenek just sang:
"Rumah mau pergi,
Kubur dtng mari..."
Labels: =(
10.6.09
8.6.09

i have not started on GP at all.
i am stumped.
i really wanna throw the GP out of the window.
erm.
i have been finding it difficult to go and meet Kal.
coz his work is really taking its toll on his body.
i can see that he is really whacked out.
eyebags very visible.
got to see him tadi oso,
he just came back from work @ 12 noon,
and
only slept for 4 hrs.
just bcoz he wanna see me and go out de-stress.
i pity him.
maybe i should not have been so hard on him.
forgive me.
7.6.09

sifting thru the nvr ending pile of papers and notebooks.
i found this.
These thots running thru my head
are the thots that have been in my mind for the past
two to three years.
Loving him made me feel like I was a roller coaster ride,
bumpy, dangerous, uncertain at times.
We drifted apart a few times but there was always
A little invisible force that prevented us from really breaking apart and
sever all bonds.
Is this wat the call Love?
Is Love that powerful, so even when
someone
is at the brink of destroying and forgetting evrytime and moment spent with
their loved ones,
because of this LOVE,
they manage to grapple through?
Is there seriously sucha thing as undying love or unwavering love?
If so,
why is there heartbreaks,
all the pain and suffering?
LOVE lied to ME.
GP still under construction.
i feel like doing Cartoons.
5.6.09

din do anything much today.
hehe.
nk buat GP tak start2.
stress banget.
went to Wdlands Lib just now at noon.
met with the sisterhood.
hehe.
sayang korang.
makan2 at Mcd b4 dat.
lapar katerkan.
then went Lib.
feeling2 nak start GP, impian dan hasrat masih lom tercapai.
i still finding for info on Tarian Masri. anyone??
after Lib, headed to Kakak Shina's hse.
met Ibu, and at the same time go see that student aka nephew, yng ehem2, circumcised.
bwahahhahaha.
then went off to RP and picked up Ati, my 2nd younger sis, after her PSLE seminar.
then went home.
i got to see a capoeira performance just now at RP.
ehmagwd.
i din noe there was capoiera.
hehe.
it looked like fun.
Baby Elephant callling.....
gotta run...
muah2!!
just missing a few peeps.
i gave Kal the 'book' i made for him.
hahah.
surprised he was.
GP is a chore.
i hate it.
non i need it.
to obtain a diploma.
wat do i do after this dip?
only god noes.
okay,okay.
goig to sleep now.
going, gone.
GONE!
3.6.09

haha.
i m just plain bored.
plus, i am plain lazy to do the GP.
but wah seh...
i have to do it.
I need good grades for it.
omg,omg,omg.
met Kal for a while just now. I tried making Cream sauce for Pasta. i cheated. Pakai Campbell's cream soup. wahahaha. wanna do it for scratch. complicated. gave some to Kal. got thumbs up. yeay! pass. mum said boleh tahan. haha.funnie.
agitated with the weather.
warm a short while, windy the next.
but mostly its warm.
i have to get starting on my GP.
dada.
2.6.09
urgh,him bz with work.
i m still struggling with my GP.
i have no idea bout what i going on for GP.
wat is needed?
my frens also have no idea.
i m having ulcers at the side of my tongue.
which is making me irritated as i cannot speak properly.
soo when i talk, i have to force my tongue to one side i order to speak.
but my teeth keeps hitting that particular side of my tongue, so no point.
I hope it will get better b4 the GP presentation.
bummer.
irritated.
Kal's mother might want to shift house.
but the thing is where are they going to live after shifting?
they dun have enuff money to buy another house
haiya.
Kal's already stress to how to earn money.
Labels: inevitable.









