29.4.09
i am typing using my father's lsppie..
hahah.. the small one..
its a lil irritating as i press the wrong keys as my fingers are too gargantuan for the minute keypad.
if i were to write without backspacingthis is how it turns out..
i miss the space bar ansd my alphabets are lal jumbled up.
hahah.
i haven been updating,
stress,
exams,
i miss my frens in sch.
seriously.
and hopefully i can find work after i get this diploma.
i am scared of wat the future holds but changes
are good.
or so someone said.
abidah's back in aussie.
i miss her.
din get to see her during the three weeks.
boohoo.
okay dat's it for now.
till l8er
IMYbabes!!!
hahah.. the small one..
its a lil irritating as i press the wrong keys as my fingers are too gargantuan for the minute keypad.
if i were to write without backspacingthis is how it turns out..
i miss the space bar ansd my alphabets are lal jumbled up.
hahah.
i haven been updating,
stress,
exams,
i miss my frens in sch.
seriously.
and hopefully i can find work after i get this diploma.
i am scared of wat the future holds but changes
are good.
or so someone said.
abidah's back in aussie.
i miss her.
din get to see her during the three weeks.
boohoo.
okay dat's it for now.
till l8er
IMYbabes!!!
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:12:00 PM
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26.4.09
SP_A1124.jpg)
i sat down thinking bout my future.
after i finish skooling.
wat would i do?
what would i be?
it got me thinking.
i dun have an ambition currently.
i used to want to be a teacher.
but somehow my dreams were dashed.
esp after that panel interview for the MT teacher.
goodness.
rite now.
am still thinking.
hopefully all those thots are gathered and i'll make my decision soon.
after i finish skooling.
wat would i do?
what would i be?
it got me thinking.
i dun have an ambition currently.
i used to want to be a teacher.
but somehow my dreams were dashed.
esp after that panel interview for the MT teacher.
goodness.
rite now.
am still thinking.
hopefully all those thots are gathered and i'll make my decision soon.
ClazZiQuai CT, 11:48:00 PM
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25.4.09
somehow i think that Kal is perfect with his imperfections.
or is it?
yesterday. went to watch Taken.
story plot was crazy.
crime story.
Love it to bits.
i love stories and movies like this.
okay.Father was a man who worked for govt.
he was a Preventer. something like undercover agent for missions and such.
coz he worked for govt, family was neglected.
eventually divorced.
he retired by then.
still got to see his daughter.
Due to the nature of his work, he developed his character of being a very detailed person.
paranoia, firmness, almost like havin OCD.
coz of being too paranoid, his daughter lied and ex wife lied to him about getting their daughter's paper signed so she could go travel europe.
told Father that she was only gonna travel to Paris.
as Such Father got angry after getting to noe he signed the papers, and only knowing the truth after he sent his daughter to the airport.
for the rest of the story, go watch..
i'm so not gonna spoil it..
really its a must watch movie.
speaking of the father,played by Liam Neeson.
his character in the movie resembled Kal.
seriously.
esp the paranoia part.
Kal wasn't so detailed.
only the paranoia.
somehow,i feel lost without Kal, even though we quarrel over certain things.
or is it?
yesterday. went to watch Taken.
story plot was crazy.
crime story.
Love it to bits.
i love stories and movies like this.
okay.Father was a man who worked for govt.
he was a Preventer. something like undercover agent for missions and such.
coz he worked for govt, family was neglected.
eventually divorced.
he retired by then.
still got to see his daughter.
Due to the nature of his work, he developed his character of being a very detailed person.
paranoia, firmness, almost like havin OCD.
coz of being too paranoid, his daughter lied and ex wife lied to him about getting their daughter's paper signed so she could go travel europe.
told Father that she was only gonna travel to Paris.
as Such Father got angry after getting to noe he signed the papers, and only knowing the truth after he sent his daughter to the airport.
for the rest of the story, go watch..
i'm so not gonna spoil it..
really its a must watch movie.
speaking of the father,played by Liam Neeson.
his character in the movie resembled Kal.
seriously.
esp the paranoia part.
Kal wasn't so detailed.
only the paranoia.
somehow,i feel lost without Kal, even though we quarrel over certain things.
ClazZiQuai CT, 11:06:00 PM
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24.4.09
i realise i have not been leading a happie life for the past 4 yrs.
seriously.
i have been seeing things going haywire and
probs go out of proportion before.
evrything is not going as i planned.
i have been under stress, depression for as long as i can rmb.
senang ckp, hidup aku seperti ikan hidup di darat.
i am constantly struggling to fight and live life the way i planned it to be.
but somewhere or somehow, an obstacle always appears.
and sometimes i fall so deep, its like i dun feel like life is worth living.
i planned to be in Uni now.
but things changed.
having taking the trouble to come up with lies to deceive my parents,my sins are so sinful.
my only fren that was comforting me was my pillow and the tears that come evrynite, sending me to slumberland.
pent up frustration and sadness eats me up frm the inside evrytime we quarrel.
how does it make u feel if u sacrifice all ur time and effort evry single day to make sure that he gets wat he wants and all u get are abuses and getting called jinxed?
blamed for evry single thing that goes wrong.
not even a thank you for evrything that went right.
my esteem went so low, i feel so small.
so degraded.
my heart broken to pieces so small, its beyond repair.
i dunno how else to let out the feelings kept for so long.
i feel better now.
seriously.
i have been seeing things going haywire and
probs go out of proportion before.
evrything is not going as i planned.
i have been under stress, depression for as long as i can rmb.
senang ckp, hidup aku seperti ikan hidup di darat.
i am constantly struggling to fight and live life the way i planned it to be.
but somewhere or somehow, an obstacle always appears.
and sometimes i fall so deep, its like i dun feel like life is worth living.
i planned to be in Uni now.
but things changed.
having taking the trouble to come up with lies to deceive my parents,my sins are so sinful.
my only fren that was comforting me was my pillow and the tears that come evrynite, sending me to slumberland.
pent up frustration and sadness eats me up frm the inside evrytime we quarrel.
how does it make u feel if u sacrifice all ur time and effort evry single day to make sure that he gets wat he wants and all u get are abuses and getting called jinxed?
blamed for evry single thing that goes wrong.
not even a thank you for evrything that went right.
my esteem went so low, i feel so small.
so degraded.
my heart broken to pieces so small, its beyond repair.
i dunno how else to let out the feelings kept for so long.
i feel better now.
ClazZiQuai CT, 7:14:00 AM
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22.4.09
i will declare..
i am pissed off with SIMON!!
urgh...
okay..
dah.
went to bp to meet ella.
go thru with her maths questions.
haha.
i need new students.
till l8er.
i am pissed off with SIMON!!
urgh...
okay..
dah.
went to bp to meet ella.
go thru with her maths questions.
haha.
i need new students.
till l8er.
ClazZiQuai CT, 9:25:00 PM
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19.4.09
hey pple.
just finish bathin and stuff.
haha.
went to meet Kal.
told him bout that particular dream.
he said i shuldn't think much bout him coz he loves me to death.
haha.
seriously. he said dat.
i love you too Doughnut.
haha.
okay.
okay so now, my sis is reading wat i'm typing N luffin.
and she said takde keje.
mmng pon!
hahah
okay see you!!
just finish bathin and stuff.
haha.
went to meet Kal.
told him bout that particular dream.
he said i shuldn't think much bout him coz he loves me to death.
haha.
seriously. he said dat.
i love you too Doughnut.
haha.
okay.
okay so now, my sis is reading wat i'm typing N luffin.
and she said takde keje.
mmng pon!
hahah
okay see you!!
ClazZiQuai CT, 8:40:00 PM
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somehow. i think i might be falling in love again.
well maybe.
i dunno how i feel.
towards Kal.
hahaha.
its like i am consumed with so called sadness, jealousy.
all coz of one stupid dream i had when i woke up yesterday morning.
recalling the dream.
In it, Kal was telling me he dun wanna see me no more.
i was like wth?
it seemed so freaking real.
i started crying, begging him.
he said there is sumone else.
and left me there.
then the next thing i knew i was at a wedding.
i saw Kal and a gal, hu ever she is i dunno.
but she was damn pretty.
she looks like an ang moh+malay.
so she was kinda fair and tall and slim and haiya.....
i feel so down talking bout this stupid dream..
then suddenly i was at my nenek's house.
the door to my nenek's room opened and inside was Kal and the "wife" holding a baby.
adorable.
but still my heart sunk so bad.
he passed me the baby and closed the door after that.
i dunno for wat.
i can't carry on typing.
its just too disturbing.
its still in my head. i cannot get it out.
well maybe.
i dunno how i feel.
towards Kal.
hahaha.
its like i am consumed with so called sadness, jealousy.
all coz of one stupid dream i had when i woke up yesterday morning.
recalling the dream.
In it, Kal was telling me he dun wanna see me no more.
i was like wth?
it seemed so freaking real.
i started crying, begging him.
he said there is sumone else.
and left me there.
then the next thing i knew i was at a wedding.
i saw Kal and a gal, hu ever she is i dunno.
but she was damn pretty.
she looks like an ang moh+malay.
so she was kinda fair and tall and slim and haiya.....
i feel so down talking bout this stupid dream..
then suddenly i was at my nenek's house.
the door to my nenek's room opened and inside was Kal and the "wife" holding a baby.
adorable.
but still my heart sunk so bad.
he passed me the baby and closed the door after that.
i dunno for wat.
i can't carry on typing.
its just too disturbing.
its still in my head. i cannot get it out.
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:13:00 AM
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17.4.09
I just got back.
well, i finish bathin n dressed and now is in front of the lappie.
went out with Kal.
b4 that there were minor probs but after that evrything was okay.
went to Jalapeno's.
the funny thing was that place always reminded me of Atika.
hahah.
so i was sitting down and suddenly an image of atika sprung into my head.
and what did you noe.
she appeared. hahah.
i was kinda shocked at first but after that i was like whoa!
wat the hell just happened.
hahah..
so the kelakar.
heheheh..
after eating and luffing coz Atika said Fad called her something.
Cute sia both of you!!!
me and Kal went off and roamed Lot 1.
hmm.
had nothing to do so sat arnd in Mac.
then he suggested we catch the 9.15pm fast and furious 4.
we did.
it was damn fun lah.
the movie i mean.
hahaha.
okay till next time.
well, i finish bathin n dressed and now is in front of the lappie.
went out with Kal.
b4 that there were minor probs but after that evrything was okay.
went to Jalapeno's.
the funny thing was that place always reminded me of Atika.
hahah.
so i was sitting down and suddenly an image of atika sprung into my head.
and what did you noe.
she appeared. hahah.
i was kinda shocked at first but after that i was like whoa!
wat the hell just happened.
hahah..
so the kelakar.
heheheh..
after eating and luffing coz Atika said Fad called her something.
Cute sia both of you!!!
me and Kal went off and roamed Lot 1.
hmm.
had nothing to do so sat arnd in Mac.
then he suggested we catch the 9.15pm fast and furious 4.
we did.
it was damn fun lah.
the movie i mean.
hahaha.
okay till next time.
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:32:00 AM
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15.4.09
i've been lazy too update my blog.
hahaha..
sometimes i feel so lazy that i dun wanna do anything.
i am thinking.
where am i to get $500.
Kal wants to buy a bike.
well, technically he's taking his fren bike.
its already fully paid.
but its spoilt.
so his fren said to go repair.
but needs $800 bucks.
oh god.
i am currently at home with no one at home.
shit.
still thinkin of the money sia.
how.
fuck3.
hahaha..
sometimes i feel so lazy that i dun wanna do anything.
i am thinking.
where am i to get $500.
Kal wants to buy a bike.
well, technically he's taking his fren bike.
its already fully paid.
but its spoilt.
so his fren said to go repair.
but needs $800 bucks.
oh god.
i am currently at home with no one at home.
shit.
still thinkin of the money sia.
how.
fuck3.
ClazZiQuai CT, 3:48:00 PM
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11.4.09
okay..
currently chomping on a burger.
the patty is store bought and the rest buat sendiri..
hahah..
fried burger till its cooked.
so if u fry beef patty kan..
there will be a lot of fats.
that's the best part.
so wat u do is u fry, mybe sliced onions using the fat.
if u got carrots of other veggies throw them in.
well its like for the salad in the burger, alah u noe.
then u sprinkle a lil salt and pepper.
next part: assembling.
hahah.
u put a slice of bread on a plate then spread butter or margerine or better mayo.
according to ur preference.
then u pile the patty then the veggie then chilli sauce or ketchup or maybe thousand island dressing oso can.
hahaha.
then if u have cheese add on top.
then pack it down with another slice of bread.
voila!
hahah
amacm?
nk try?
oh another thing.
its not like the burger in the pic u see in this post.
lol.
if i could do dat think of all the hungry kids in the world bloated and happy!
currently chomping on a burger.
the patty is store bought and the rest buat sendiri..
hahah..
fried burger till its cooked.
so if u fry beef patty kan..
there will be a lot of fats.
that's the best part.
so wat u do is u fry, mybe sliced onions using the fat.
if u got carrots of other veggies throw them in.
well its like for the salad in the burger, alah u noe.
then u sprinkle a lil salt and pepper.
next part: assembling.
hahah.
u put a slice of bread on a plate then spread butter or margerine or better mayo.
according to ur preference.
then u pile the patty then the veggie then chilli sauce or ketchup or maybe thousand island dressing oso can.
hahaha.
then if u have cheese add on top.
then pack it down with another slice of bread.
voila!
hahah
amacm?
nk try?
oh another thing.
its not like the burger in the pic u see in this post.
lol.
if i could do dat think of all the hungry kids in the world bloated and happy!
ClazZiQuai CT, 10:43:00 PM
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10.4.09
just came back home.
had a tough time teachin him.
haha.
but kids are always kids.
had fun at my aunt's hse in wdlands.
bonding time after so long.
it was so fun.
just finish bathin so rite now i am practically sneezing coz the facewash entered my nose while i was washing my face.
my nose is running.no pun intended.
oh well.. better be going off for the moment.
i'll blog more l8er.
toodles.
had a tough time teachin him.
haha.
but kids are always kids.
had fun at my aunt's hse in wdlands.
bonding time after so long.
it was so fun.
just finish bathin so rite now i am practically sneezing coz the facewash entered my nose while i was washing my face.
my nose is running.no pun intended.
oh well.. better be going off for the moment.
i'll blog more l8er.
toodles.
Labels: i'm falling deep into an abyss.
ClazZiQuai CT, 11:41:00 PM
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had fun taking pics using the lappie.
hahaha...
had nothing to do.
searched for the bloody photo booth for hours yesterdae and finally found it..
hahaha...
a lot of pics to upload..
maybe i'll upload more later..
have to go tuition for now..
wdlands.
mr izzat jufri bin esa.
urgh!!
hahaha...
had nothing to do.
searched for the bloody photo booth for hours yesterdae and finally found it..
hahaha...
a lot of pics to upload..
maybe i'll upload more later..
have to go tuition for now..
wdlands.
mr izzat jufri bin esa.
urgh!!
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:16:00 PM
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9.4.09
currently, my mum is menyenye-ing at my bro.
he wants to jahit his pants again.
and mum's irritated.
haha.
i'm sitting in front of the com. thinking of wat to do.
internet connection was a bitch.
i switched on the com to find out that there was no connection.
damn.
so i had to re-install evrything again.
aku ni mcm paham je buat.
well there was a manual.
just follow loh.
if its spoilt again.
uncle ader aper susah.
haha.
but my uncle, orngnyer ader panas baran sikit.
haiya.
okay not lil bit.
a lot.
so when he's angry, u might wanna sit far2 away.
after this i wanna rest for the whole day.
something seems to be the matter with my body.
i dunnno wat.
I may look okay but i dunno wat its problem.
i will go for a full body checkup soon.
i wanna. i have to save the money. will save. must.
bsides that i try to study yesterday coz i was thinkin of the upcoming exams.
tried but failed terribly, miserably.
Kal is working so i have the whole day to sit at home.
i told mum bout wat's happening to me.
she said that i better sit at home for today.
so guys, i'm sorrie dorrie strawberry for not cuming down.
since i'm the caller i can talk thru the phone.
make it sound authentic.
hehe. okay just a suggestion.
my head's spinning.
i think i'll go lie down for a while.
till l8er.
toddles.
love evrything and so much more.
he wants to jahit his pants again.
and mum's irritated.
haha.
i'm sitting in front of the com. thinking of wat to do.
internet connection was a bitch.
i switched on the com to find out that there was no connection.
damn.
so i had to re-install evrything again.
aku ni mcm paham je buat.
well there was a manual.
just follow loh.
if its spoilt again.
uncle ader aper susah.
haha.
but my uncle, orngnyer ader panas baran sikit.
haiya.
okay not lil bit.
a lot.
so when he's angry, u might wanna sit far2 away.
after this i wanna rest for the whole day.
something seems to be the matter with my body.
i dunnno wat.
I may look okay but i dunno wat its problem.
i will go for a full body checkup soon.
i wanna. i have to save the money. will save. must.
bsides that i try to study yesterday coz i was thinkin of the upcoming exams.
tried but failed terribly, miserably.
Kal is working so i have the whole day to sit at home.
i told mum bout wat's happening to me.
she said that i better sit at home for today.
so guys, i'm sorrie dorrie strawberry for not cuming down.
since i'm the caller i can talk thru the phone.
make it sound authentic.
hehe. okay just a suggestion.
my head's spinning.
i think i'll go lie down for a while.
till l8er.
toddles.
love evrything and so much more.
ClazZiQuai CT, 11:14:00 AM
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8.4.09
.jpg)
Lappie's back with uncle.
Its was so urgent dat he asked for it yesterdae.
so i had to be contented with the living room com.
i am feeling a tad better.
met Kal just now for a while.
sakit2 go out to eat breakfast.
well it was already 11 plus so does it count as breakfast?
after dat he got called back coz of smt.
so followed him all the way to clementi.
haiya.
fell asleep otw there.
then he brought me to the pharmacy to buy panadol.
coz i wanna save money and hate waiting in the poly to see doc.
i've been seeing changes in myself.
i dunno how to describe it.
I dunno whether its good or bad.
i've been lost trying to find time for myself, family, Kal and other things.
somehow I kinda feel that I am too sensitive regarding certain things.
i just can't put my finger on anything.
I can't figure out anything.
seriously.
Its was so urgent dat he asked for it yesterdae.
so i had to be contented with the living room com.
i am feeling a tad better.
met Kal just now for a while.
sakit2 go out to eat breakfast.
well it was already 11 plus so does it count as breakfast?
after dat he got called back coz of smt.
so followed him all the way to clementi.
haiya.
fell asleep otw there.
then he brought me to the pharmacy to buy panadol.
coz i wanna save money and hate waiting in the poly to see doc.
i've been seeing changes in myself.
i dunno how to describe it.
I dunno whether its good or bad.
i've been lost trying to find time for myself, family, Kal and other things.
somehow I kinda feel that I am too sensitive regarding certain things.
i just can't put my finger on anything.
I can't figure out anything.
seriously.
ClazZiQuai CT, 6:31:00 PM
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7.4.09
currently at home resting.
tired lah.
teaching mr izzat jufri bin esa was such a chore.
i gave him h/w which was to be completed last week, but NO..
he din do it.
asked his mum, she said he din wanna do it.
too bz playing the friggin PSP.
why OH WHY??!!
u students torment me with stupid things like not doing ur h/w??
I mean come on.
if u can't finish all, at least some questions.
i dun mind.
just bloody attempt it lah.
okay.feel much better aft letting that out.
hahaha.
well, just now at 3+,
went to the library wif atika and fyeeqa.
bored to the core nth to do.
hung out, ate wedges and onions rings.nyahaha.
then sat around.
after atika went off to meet Fad,
me and fyeeqa went upstairs.
lappie no more batt.
search for a suitable power socket.
haha.
kesian kite2 ni ye.
haha.
maner lah kau?
i miss him.Kal.
i hope me and Kal will get better.
I am not pining for hope on anyone else anymore.
but I guess its better if I go with the flow.
tired lah.
teaching mr izzat jufri bin esa was such a chore.
i gave him h/w which was to be completed last week, but NO..
he din do it.
asked his mum, she said he din wanna do it.
too bz playing the friggin PSP.
why OH WHY??!!
u students torment me with stupid things like not doing ur h/w??
I mean come on.
if u can't finish all, at least some questions.
i dun mind.
just bloody attempt it lah.
okay.feel much better aft letting that out.
hahaha.
well, just now at 3+,
went to the library wif atika and fyeeqa.
bored to the core nth to do.
hung out, ate wedges and onions rings.nyahaha.
then sat around.
after atika went off to meet Fad,
me and fyeeqa went upstairs.
lappie no more batt.
search for a suitable power socket.
haha.
kesian kite2 ni ye.
haha.
maner lah kau?
i miss him.Kal.
i hope me and Kal will get better.
I am not pining for hope on anyone else anymore.
but I guess its better if I go with the flow.
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:04:00 AM
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6.4.09
SP_A1126.jpg)
okay.. sorrie nvr update pple..
haha..thanx to dua kind souls i will update eh..
thank u minahchee2...
ILY babes..
nth much has been happening..
all in all my life is sedih + kelakar as fyeeqa puts it.
i am currently at wdlands lib trying to do smt.
we'll just enjoying the aircon and stuff.
rumah ku takde aircon k?
nyahaha..
basically.. nth to post and nth to do..
mendak giler.
i have been thinking bout alot of things lately but i dun have liberty of wanting to post it yet.
feel so the damn bloody lazy.
so rite now.. i am crapping a lot...
boo.
maybe i'll con't l8er.
toodles!
haha..thanx to dua kind souls i will update eh..
thank u minahchee2...
ILY babes..
nth much has been happening..
all in all my life is sedih + kelakar as fyeeqa puts it.
i am currently at wdlands lib trying to do smt.
we'll just enjoying the aircon and stuff.
rumah ku takde aircon k?
nyahaha..
basically.. nth to post and nth to do..
mendak giler.
i have been thinking bout alot of things lately but i dun have liberty of wanting to post it yet.
feel so the damn bloody lazy.
so rite now.. i am crapping a lot...
boo.
maybe i'll con't l8er.
toodles!
ClazZiQuai CT, 5:13:00 PM
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1.4.09
currently am on the bed.
just finish the last assignment for the last module for this term.
I am left with GP!!
omfg.
i am so relieved.
haaaaaa.....
can sit down and shake leg jap.
but after dat got exams.
man!
haha.. dunn need to stress first..
l8er then can stress.heheh..
i lost a lot of sleep coz of these assignments..
i need to go sch l8er..
nvr mind.. slowly..
today i'll take my time..
i wanna enjoy the scenery as i go along the road in the bus.
hahah..
mcm real je si dek ni.
okay pple till l8er.
love u all.
just finish the last assignment for the last module for this term.
I am left with GP!!
omfg.
i am so relieved.
haaaaaa.....
can sit down and shake leg jap.
but after dat got exams.
man!
haha.. dunn need to stress first..
l8er then can stress.heheh..
i lost a lot of sleep coz of these assignments..
i need to go sch l8er..
nvr mind.. slowly..
today i'll take my time..
i wanna enjoy the scenery as i go along the road in the bus.
hahah..
mcm real je si dek ni.
okay pple till l8er.
love u all.
ClazZiQuai CT, 7:17:00 AM
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