i have been very pessimistic.
due to some reasons.
and i have changed.
from bad to worse.
too much self - pity.
I m sick and tired of things going the way they are.
I tried doing things to make them better but it
doesn't seem to work.
somehow, they dun wanna go the way i want them to go.
i hate myself for not being able to change things to make them better.

I also realise that I have no life.
I am a low life.
my shelf life is quite short.
when pple need me, they find me.
when they do find something new and have better things in their lives,
they forget bout me.
invisible has been my middle name since childhood.
even when i had a good strong circle of frens
during sec school,
It is still the same.
U have problems u come to me.
U're happy, u flit off socialising with others.
in the end, u become best frens with others and u forget ur old frens.
so maybe there is no sucha thing as best fren 4eva.
sue me if u think its wrong speaking my mind.

even having a bloody bf is useless.
the risk of me getting high blood pressure and heart attack has just increased.
i used to be much3 more contented with wat i have.
but rite now evrything seems so useless.
i am so angry.
really.