31.5.09
i dun noe wt is wrong with evrybody today.
i dunno y is evrything not going rite.
I AM SICK AND TIRED WITH ALL OF YOU!!!
STEP ON MY HEAD LIKE NO ONE'S BUSINESS.
AM I THAT SO INSIGNIFICANT THAT I GET IGNORED??
AM I YOUR SLAVE DAT HAVE TO DO EVRYTHIG FOR U??
AND KAL HU DO U THINK I AM?? UR PUNCHING BAG???
AM I A SINNER THAT EVRYTHING I DO IS WRONG IN UR EYES??
WAT THE HELL DO U PPLE WANT FROM ME????
IVE TRIED MY BEST TO BE A GOOD PERSON.
WAT ELSE DO YOU WANT??
SIBLINGS SO RUDE.
MY FATHER BOSS ME AROUND LIKE I AM A MAID IN THE HOUSE.
I BECOME KAL'S PUNCHING BAG.
I PRAY FOR ALL OF U LIKE THERE'S NO TML AND THIS IS THE BALASAN I GET.
i dunno y is evrything not going rite.
I AM SICK AND TIRED WITH ALL OF YOU!!!
STEP ON MY HEAD LIKE NO ONE'S BUSINESS.
AM I THAT SO INSIGNIFICANT THAT I GET IGNORED??
AM I YOUR SLAVE DAT HAVE TO DO EVRYTHIG FOR U??
AND KAL HU DO U THINK I AM?? UR PUNCHING BAG???
AM I A SINNER THAT EVRYTHING I DO IS WRONG IN UR EYES??
WAT THE HELL DO U PPLE WANT FROM ME????
IVE TRIED MY BEST TO BE A GOOD PERSON.
WAT ELSE DO YOU WANT??
SIBLINGS SO RUDE.
MY FATHER BOSS ME AROUND LIKE I AM A MAID IN THE HOUSE.
I BECOME KAL'S PUNCHING BAG.
I PRAY FOR ALL OF U LIKE THERE'S NO TML AND THIS IS THE BALASAN I GET.
ClazZiQuai CT, 7:56:00 PM
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i am pissed off with my sis.
actually i am disappointed with most of my siblings now.
i dunno wat was going on in their head respectively.
one had problems with her BF.
then the other one has ran into trouble with the law.
the other one is just plain stubborn as a mule and likes to rebutt with hurting replies, not knowing in her head that I am older than her.
i un demand their respect.
they are too disrespectful even to my parents.
i am just disappointed.
i might sound petty.
but hell.
being the eldest with 5 younger siblings under u is just stressful.
I noe i should not complain coz there might others out there with more siblings than me.
sibling rivalry in my house is damn common.
but sometimes i just think they are still young but can fight till they box and kick each other.
hurting u with their hurtful rebuttals,
SAPER BOLEH TAHAN??
but wateva it is they are my siblings.
i always pray that one day they see my parents and my sacriice for them.
coz i already open my eyes to seeing parents sacrifice.
its just that they are still short sighted in seeing the way things are done.
actually i am disappointed with most of my siblings now.
i dunno wat was going on in their head respectively.
one had problems with her BF.
then the other one has ran into trouble with the law.
the other one is just plain stubborn as a mule and likes to rebutt with hurting replies, not knowing in her head that I am older than her.
i un demand their respect.
they are too disrespectful even to my parents.
i am just disappointed.
i might sound petty.
but hell.
being the eldest with 5 younger siblings under u is just stressful.
I noe i should not complain coz there might others out there with more siblings than me.
sibling rivalry in my house is damn common.
but sometimes i just think they are still young but can fight till they box and kick each other.
hurting u with their hurtful rebuttals,
SAPER BOLEH TAHAN??
but wateva it is they are my siblings.
i always pray that one day they see my parents and my sacriice for them.
coz i already open my eyes to seeing parents sacrifice.
its just that they are still short sighted in seeing the way things are done.
ClazZiQuai CT, 5:43:00 PM
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Dad found a bed bug in my room!!!!!
OMG!!!!
PIJAT!!!
how, how, HOW????
fuck.
results were known yesterday. i din wanna open my letter. coz i noe the results were not good. urgh. my mum nvr said anything negative though. she only said: wat to do? the results are like that. ('',)
besides that,
i can't wait to see Kal l8er.
its been umm.. 2...
or was it 4 days since I last saw him.
hehe.
rindu sngt2..
lol.
i really hope this time he changes for the better.
he seems very busy with work nowadays.
oh well.
gtg.
father nagging to go fold clothes.
bummer.
OMG!!!!
PIJAT!!!
how, how, HOW????
fuck.
results were known yesterday. i din wanna open my letter. coz i noe the results were not good. urgh. my mum nvr said anything negative though. she only said: wat to do? the results are like that. ('',)
besides that,
i can't wait to see Kal l8er.
its been umm.. 2...
or was it 4 days since I last saw him.
hehe.
rindu sngt2..
lol.
i really hope this time he changes for the better.
he seems very busy with work nowadays.
oh well.
gtg.
father nagging to go fold clothes.
bummer.
Labels: totally lame.
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:31:00 PM
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30.5.09
i got an invitation to go on a boat ride!!
heheh.
but i had to turn it down.
sorie Tika.
even thou i got nth to do, my mum tries tp keep me bz with household chores and i have tuition.
so that's why when its time pple ajak me kluar, i cnt go!
urgh.
heheh..
anyway, will post somemore l8er maybe.
toodles.
heheh.
but i had to turn it down.
sorie Tika.
even thou i got nth to do, my mum tries tp keep me bz with household chores and i have tuition.
so that's why when its time pple ajak me kluar, i cnt go!
urgh.
heheh..
anyway, will post somemore l8er maybe.
toodles.
ClazZiQuai CT, 1:23:00 PM
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29.5.09
currently at my kakak sedare's hse..
hahah.. last day of tuition b4 june hols.
huahua..
i m gonna let my tutee watch the road to Eldorado..
hahah
try to pick up on some english.
okay till then.
hahah.. last day of tuition b4 june hols.
huahua..
i m gonna let my tutee watch the road to Eldorado..
hahah
try to pick up on some english.
okay till then.
ClazZiQuai CT, 8:10:00 PM
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i woke up as early as 6.30 this morning.
my head is really hurting.
i keep complaining but i nvr go check.
no money lah.
but seriously pening giler!
i feel like i am neglected by Kal nowadays.
mayb coz i dun have sch and i am always at home.
and maybe he is always bz with his work.
but even so, when i was still bz with sch,he doesn't fail to call.
inilah manusia.
biler orng tu sibok ader tanyer2, ckp irritating.
biler diri sendiri dah bosan, orng tu tk contct lak.
argh!! pening.
and the weather's warm and humid.
goodness.
global warming!!
i have to bathe again and again.
i am thinking of learning to explore the meanings hidden in the al-quran.
i wanna re-learn how to read it properly.
blom katam k.
i so the embarrassed.
besides dat,
i am kinda bummed coz i promised Kal to don the jilbab after GP, or to be precise after finish sch.
but...
i noe, i noe.
dun do it for others but for urself.
but if i keep thinking, sampai biler??
smpai biler nak have second thots of wearing the tudong??
dah tua kerepot baru nak pakai?
sorie mulut lancang.
but, but...
wearing the tudong will partly make u feel like the complete muslim woman.
correct?
the identity is there.
tapi kalau akhlak , aqidah takde?
aiyah.
evryone has their own weaknesses.
no one's perfect.
ni baru pasal tudong.
sorie bout the tudong issue.
takmo terase.
only the tots running in my cocked up head rite now.
i noe nuts about my religion.
well, i have to learn more.
man.
sometimes i think i am shallow.
urgh.
okay i am blabbering.
I am currently hoping that I need tranquilizers coz I have been having trouble sleeping lately.
I hope I dun Become Insomniac.
Help anyone?
my head is really hurting.
i keep complaining but i nvr go check.
no money lah.
but seriously pening giler!
i feel like i am neglected by Kal nowadays.
mayb coz i dun have sch and i am always at home.
and maybe he is always bz with his work.
but even so, when i was still bz with sch,he doesn't fail to call.
inilah manusia.
biler orng tu sibok ader tanyer2, ckp irritating.
biler diri sendiri dah bosan, orng tu tk contct lak.
argh!! pening.
and the weather's warm and humid.
goodness.
global warming!!
i have to bathe again and again.
i am thinking of learning to explore the meanings hidden in the al-quran.
i wanna re-learn how to read it properly.
blom katam k.
i so the embarrassed.
besides dat,
i am kinda bummed coz i promised Kal to don the jilbab after GP, or to be precise after finish sch.
but...
i noe, i noe.
dun do it for others but for urself.
but if i keep thinking, sampai biler??
smpai biler nak have second thots of wearing the tudong??
dah tua kerepot baru nak pakai?
sorie mulut lancang.
but, but...
wearing the tudong will partly make u feel like the complete muslim woman.
correct?
the identity is there.
tapi kalau akhlak , aqidah takde?
aiyah.
evryone has their own weaknesses.
no one's perfect.
ni baru pasal tudong.
sorie bout the tudong issue.
takmo terase.
only the tots running in my cocked up head rite now.
i noe nuts about my religion.
well, i have to learn more.
man.
sometimes i think i am shallow.
urgh.
okay i am blabbering.
I am currently hoping that I need tranquilizers coz I have been having trouble sleeping lately.
I hope I dun Become Insomniac.
Help anyone?
ClazZiQuai CT, 9:11:00 AM
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helio!
went for sis's meet-the-parents session @ GESS.
my mum does not want to go so i had to.
erm.
all i can say is dat stepping into her school brought back alot of memories of my old secondary sch.
her frens. teachers, the ambience, atmosphere.
made me almost choke holding bck tears.
i really miss my sec sch life even thou it ended bad.
talking bout sec sch life.
i just wanna apologise to my closest frens for neglecting them after the second half of the year.
i wanna apologise for running away from the lot of you.
i wanna apologise for being a bitch, too weak to face my fears.
a public apology.
i realise that i do miss you gerls so much.
its just dat, somehow, i cannot find the right balance.
i cannot turn back time, but if i could there were so many things i would have changed.
explanations aside as they are too sour to even start with.
i wish that certain things could be mended.
i loved the bond that we forged.
i miss it so.
next agenda,
i am finding a male tutor, to tutor my cousin's son.
PRI 5 Maths and English.
preferably living nearby woodlands RP(Republic Poly)
or anyone hu has has direct transportation to woodlands.
she is offering at least $80 for 8 sessions.
price is negotiable.
male tutor needs to be stern, fierce and noes how to make lesson seem interesting.
Babes korang ader any connections.
inform ASAP!!
that's it for tonite!!
went for sis's meet-the-parents session @ GESS.
my mum does not want to go so i had to.
erm.
all i can say is dat stepping into her school brought back alot of memories of my old secondary sch.
her frens. teachers, the ambience, atmosphere.
made me almost choke holding bck tears.
i really miss my sec sch life even thou it ended bad.
talking bout sec sch life.
i just wanna apologise to my closest frens for neglecting them after the second half of the year.
i wanna apologise for running away from the lot of you.
i wanna apologise for being a bitch, too weak to face my fears.
a public apology.
i realise that i do miss you gerls so much.
its just dat, somehow, i cannot find the right balance.
i cannot turn back time, but if i could there were so many things i would have changed.
explanations aside as they are too sour to even start with.
i wish that certain things could be mended.
i loved the bond that we forged.
i miss it so.
next agenda,
i am finding a male tutor, to tutor my cousin's son.
PRI 5 Maths and English.
preferably living nearby woodlands RP(Republic Poly)
or anyone hu has has direct transportation to woodlands.
she is offering at least $80 for 8 sessions.
price is negotiable.
male tutor needs to be stern, fierce and noes how to make lesson seem interesting.
Babes korang ader any connections.
inform ASAP!!
that's it for tonite!!
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:30:00 AM
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28.5.09
i've news.
bad and sad one.
Manok's good fren passed away otw to the hospital
after meeting with an accident on AYE.
her bike crashed into a lorry and it ran over her.
she left behind family and frens and her devoted BF.
her BF and her rode together on their own bikes and when he said goodbye to her
he pesan,
"ride safely."
and mins after that she had an appointment with Death.
the thing that is running thru my head is that a person as young as her
can go off so early.
she's 19.
but if Death has come knocking, u have to go.
i am stunned.
very.
when Manok told me, i just din noe how to react.
she was his childhood fren.
and it was only a few days b4 the accident they sat down talking how
they were going to be when they were old.
family, children, husband and wives.
i am trying to register the fact that this kind of thing can happen.
i mean, it was just shocking.
i have no words to describe.
i feel like crying.
the thing is i dun even noe her, nvr even met her.
but i feel like crying,
coz i just feel...
nvm.
i am gonna stop here for now.
i just cannot say anything more.
watever it is, i hope the money she saved to give her parents so they can go for their Hajj
is used for that benefit.
Semoga Tuhan mencucuri Rohmu dgn Rahmatnye.
Amin ya rabbal alamin.
bad and sad one.
Manok's good fren passed away otw to the hospital
after meeting with an accident on AYE.
her bike crashed into a lorry and it ran over her.
she left behind family and frens and her devoted BF.
her BF and her rode together on their own bikes and when he said goodbye to her
he pesan,
"ride safely."
and mins after that she had an appointment with Death.
the thing that is running thru my head is that a person as young as her
can go off so early.
she's 19.
but if Death has come knocking, u have to go.
i am stunned.
very.
when Manok told me, i just din noe how to react.
she was his childhood fren.
and it was only a few days b4 the accident they sat down talking how
they were going to be when they were old.
family, children, husband and wives.
i am trying to register the fact that this kind of thing can happen.
i mean, it was just shocking.
i have no words to describe.
i feel like crying.
the thing is i dun even noe her, nvr even met her.
but i feel like crying,
coz i just feel...
nvm.
i am gonna stop here for now.
i just cannot say anything more.
watever it is, i hope the money she saved to give her parents so they can go for their Hajj
is used for that benefit.
Semoga Tuhan mencucuri Rohmu dgn Rahmatnye.
Amin ya rabbal alamin.
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:31:00 AM
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27.5.09
I MISS YOU BABES AND SCH!!!!!!!!!!!
nyahaha.
okay..
i totally agree with atika.
aku sungguh bored and i feel so dumb at home.
staying at home makes me feel like i am turning dumb somehow.
wakaka.
okay.
see i am b-coming crazy...
nothin much to update.
only this video.
that is i get the hang of this.
hold on.
nyahaha.
okay..
i totally agree with atika.
aku sungguh bored and i feel so dumb at home.
staying at home makes me feel like i am turning dumb somehow.
wakaka.
okay.
see i am b-coming crazy...
nothin much to update.
only this video.
that is i get the hang of this.
hold on.
greg pritchard for ur viewing.
enjoy!!
enjoy!!
ClazZiQuai CT, 8:26:00 PM
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26.5.09
i have been bored.
life has been uneventful.
seriously.
walaupun aku ngah stress bout project themes and such.
urgh.
should i con't or should i just do a new one.
and nowadays i keep getting splitting headaches.
i'm worried.
life has been uneventful.
seriously.
walaupun aku ngah stress bout project themes and such.
urgh.
should i con't or should i just do a new one.
and nowadays i keep getting splitting headaches.
i'm worried.
hehe.
I wanted to try out this new shampoo.
from clairol herbal essences line of new shampoos and conditioners.
hehe.
its called Long Term Relationship.
well wat it means is that the product is meant for long hair.
i noe, i noe.
wat a pun.
Kal was sweet enough to pay for it.
hehe.
I wanted to try out this new shampoo.
from clairol herbal essences line of new shampoos and conditioners.
hehe.
its called Long Term Relationship.
well wat it means is that the product is meant for long hair.
i noe, i noe.
wat a pun.
Kal was sweet enough to pay for it.
hehe.
wat attracted me to it was the smell.
hehe. berry.raspberry.
hehe.
yup berries and berries and more berries.
i have a lip balm with the smell of strawberries.
now this shampoo and conditioner.
now, i wonder if there is any berry to cure my splitting headaches??
coz seriously, evrytime i get up in the morning all the way till i go back to sleep.
its still hurting.
hehe. berry.raspberry.
hehe.
yup berries and berries and more berries.
i have a lip balm with the smell of strawberries.
now this shampoo and conditioner.
now, i wonder if there is any berry to cure my splitting headaches??
coz seriously, evrytime i get up in the morning all the way till i go back to sleep.
its still hurting.
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:22:00 AM
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24.5.09
i went thru my documents a while back when i found this:
I am currently sitting at the staircase waiting for Kal to emerge from his house.
Its been so many times since I did this kind of job.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.
I’ve waited for people but people don’t really like to wait for me.
Funny isn’t it?
How a simple waiting game can turn into the biggest quarrel or maybe even destroy a friendship and relationship that you’ve built with all the love and affection that you have for the person?
How powerful the word is when it can turn the world topsy turvy and everything is misunderstood?
Just because of waiting.
For something to happen.
For someone to return.
For time to pass.
Whatever it is, waiting for someone is always a heartbreaker.
Waiting for him or her to return your love.
Waiting for him or her to reply your messages or calls or even letters of sweet affection.
Waiting for him or her to change for the better so the relationship to work.
Waiting for the time where the relationship would end so you could move on in search for a better life.
Waiting for a lot of things that might happen or not .
Waiting is a chore and hassle when the person you’ve been waiting for is someone is unimportant.
But it differs so much when that someone is so important to you in life.
And because of this, waiting is just something that you would die for doing it for them.
So don’t you think the line “I’ll wait for you.” Or “I’ll be waiting for you” is so overrated and clichéd?
Been there and done that so many times.
I am currently sitting at the staircase waiting for Kal to emerge from his house.
Its been so many times since I did this kind of job.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.
I’ve waited for people but people don’t really like to wait for me.
Funny isn’t it?
How a simple waiting game can turn into the biggest quarrel or maybe even destroy a friendship and relationship that you’ve built with all the love and affection that you have for the person?
How powerful the word is when it can turn the world topsy turvy and everything is misunderstood?
Just because of waiting.
For something to happen.
For someone to return.
For time to pass.
Whatever it is, waiting for someone is always a heartbreaker.
Waiting for him or her to return your love.
Waiting for him or her to reply your messages or calls or even letters of sweet affection.
Waiting for him or her to change for the better so the relationship to work.
Waiting for the time where the relationship would end so you could move on in search for a better life.
Waiting for a lot of things that might happen or not .
Waiting is a chore and hassle when the person you’ve been waiting for is someone is unimportant.
But it differs so much when that someone is so important to you in life.
And because of this, waiting is just something that you would die for doing it for them.
So don’t you think the line “I’ll wait for you.” Or “I’ll be waiting for you” is so overrated and clichéd?
Been there and done that so many times.
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:31:00 PM
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20.5.09
somehow, i feel anxious about kiss and tell session.
i am just being paranoid.
i dunno whether i am ready.
thots going thru my head.
OMG.
i read somewhere dat about 60,000 thots go thru ur head in a single moment.
now how do we process all those thots??
i am just being paranoid.
i dunno whether i am ready.
thots going thru my head.
OMG.
i read somewhere dat about 60,000 thots go thru ur head in a single moment.
now how do we process all those thots??
ClazZiQuai CT, 11:51:00 PM
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my head's hurting as we speak.
its throbbing like nobody's business.
besides dat, i was kinda of unprepared for wat Kal suggested to me yesterday.
tergamam aku dibuatnya.
ohh.. b4 i forget...
congratulations aishah! heheh...
okay wat Kal suggested?
hahahah.. i will only tell those hu are closer to me only..
nanny-nanny-poo-poo..
hahah.
only thing i can say is,
i dunno whether i should cry,
laugh,worry,
or get excited,or be scared.
story panjang.
i felt tempted to write down here.
but i dun think its appropriate for anyone hu snoops around my blog to read it.
ahahah.
sorrie.
its throbbing like nobody's business.
besides dat, i was kinda of unprepared for wat Kal suggested to me yesterday.
tergamam aku dibuatnya.
ohh.. b4 i forget...
congratulations aishah! heheh...
okay wat Kal suggested?
hahahah.. i will only tell those hu are closer to me only..
nanny-nanny-poo-poo..
hahah.
only thing i can say is,
i dunno whether i should cry,
laugh,worry,
or get excited,or be scared.
story panjang.
i felt tempted to write down here.
but i dun think its appropriate for anyone hu snoops around my blog to read it.
ahahah.
sorrie.
Labels: kiss and tell.
ClazZiQuai CT, 4:16:00 PM
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17.5.09
i am kinda feeling lost.
somewhat.
i am still waiting for Kal's phone call.
not yet calling.
after the xams, my days are knda uneventful.
only a lot of mixed up emotions here and there.
i dunnoe wat to say about wat i am feeling this moment.
LOVE.
its painful.
its nice.
its sickening.
its exciting.
its addictive.
its hurtful.
pondering bout this for so long.
sometimes i dunno whether i noe or understand wat i feel rite now.
even while writing this, i dun even noe whether peeps hu actually read my blog,
understand wat i am trying to say.
i guess i am unable to control my emotions and feelings.
they have a mind of their own.
sometimes it seems impossible for me to let my negative thots go and take in all those positivity.
i'm just plain bored.
somewhat.
i am still waiting for Kal's phone call.
not yet calling.
after the xams, my days are knda uneventful.
only a lot of mixed up emotions here and there.
i dunnoe wat to say about wat i am feeling this moment.
LOVE.
its painful.
its nice.
its sickening.
its exciting.
its addictive.
its hurtful.
pondering bout this for so long.
sometimes i dunno whether i noe or understand wat i feel rite now.
even while writing this, i dun even noe whether peeps hu actually read my blog,
understand wat i am trying to say.
i guess i am unable to control my emotions and feelings.
they have a mind of their own.
sometimes it seems impossible for me to let my negative thots go and take in all those positivity.
i'm just plain bored.
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:02:00 AM
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14.5.09
currently still awake.
its past 1.40 am.
and i am still up.
i have been cramming all the ASEP notes into my head but it
seems not to be going in.
just got off the phone with manok.
cheered me up and gave me moral support.
there are things going on.
i dun have time to open up yet.
not now.
i can't.
i am apparently feeling lost and weird.
it seems dat evrything is happening and repeating itself again.
in May.
i need to concentrate.
this paper will determine the outcome.
ya allah, beri aku kekuatan.
aku mohon.
its past 1.40 am.
and i am still up.
i have been cramming all the ASEP notes into my head but it
seems not to be going in.
just got off the phone with manok.
cheered me up and gave me moral support.
there are things going on.
i dun have time to open up yet.
not now.
i can't.
i am apparently feeling lost and weird.
it seems dat evrything is happening and repeating itself again.
in May.
i need to concentrate.
this paper will determine the outcome.
ya allah, beri aku kekuatan.
aku mohon.
ClazZiQuai CT, 1:40:00 AM
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11.5.09
hello.
k dah.
bye.
k dah.
bye.
ClazZiQuai CT, 8:40:00 PM
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10.5.09
being angry at someone.
u dun have to lash it out at someone hu is not that person hu u are angry with.
even though it something to do with me.
u dun have to go and blame me as if evrything bad that happened was because of me.
wat? i am jinxed u said?
go look urself in the mirror.
nobody in this world brings another bad luck.
my heart is crushed so bad u dun even noe.
i'm sorrie if i did do something wrong.
but u noe, not evrything that went wrong was because of me.
i hope that woke u up.
u dun have to lash it out at someone hu is not that person hu u are angry with.
even though it something to do with me.
u dun have to go and blame me as if evrything bad that happened was because of me.
wat? i am jinxed u said?
go look urself in the mirror.
nobody in this world brings another bad luck.
my heart is crushed so bad u dun even noe.
i'm sorrie if i did do something wrong.
but u noe, not evrything that went wrong was because of me.
i hope that woke u up.
ClazZiQuai CT, 3:18:00 PM
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6.5.09
i am not able to sleep.
my eyes just won't shut.
funny thing was i fell asleep during CSI but after that i am wide awake
upon reaching my comfy bed.
maybe i am thinking too much.
i couldn't sleep once coz i tot too much, had nitemares and ended waking up at 6 am coz i couldn't sleep.
goodness.
i m trying to shut my eyes as we speak.
i have a lot of thots regarding the upcoming exam papers.
nervous as hell.
my eyes just won't shut.
funny thing was i fell asleep during CSI but after that i am wide awake
upon reaching my comfy bed.
maybe i am thinking too much.
i couldn't sleep once coz i tot too much, had nitemares and ended waking up at 6 am coz i couldn't sleep.
goodness.
i m trying to shut my eyes as we speak.
i have a lot of thots regarding the upcoming exam papers.
nervous as hell.
ClazZiQuai CT, 1:14:00 AM
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5.5.09
i need a shovel.
i wanna bury myself alive.
pls.
okay no.
i want to strangle padhman can?
I studied and memorise certain things and almost half of it din come out.
well maybe the editor input and output came out,
but what da hell is copy testing????
i din the question though.
atika was going round asking pple coz she did the question.
and most of the questions were oh so peculiar to me.
i was thinking of what my aunt once said to me.
no one was ever born to be stupid.
nor were they created stupid.
evryone was born with a choice.
to study or not.
to be successful or not.
stupid is just a word made up for pple.
who are just to lazy to find education.
have i mentioned that i want to strangle padhman?
oh yes i did.
she sells seychelles on the seafloor.
oh crap.
i wanna bury myself alive.
pls.
okay no.
i want to strangle padhman can?
I studied and memorise certain things and almost half of it din come out.
well maybe the editor input and output came out,
but what da hell is copy testing????
i din the question though.
atika was going round asking pple coz she did the question.
and most of the questions were oh so peculiar to me.
i was thinking of what my aunt once said to me.
no one was ever born to be stupid.
nor were they created stupid.
evryone was born with a choice.
to study or not.
to be successful or not.
stupid is just a word made up for pple.
who are just to lazy to find education.
have i mentioned that i want to strangle padhman?
oh yes i did.
she sells seychelles on the seafloor.
oh crap.
ClazZiQuai CT, 2:29:00 PM
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3.5.09
i've been trying to study since just now.
trying to put the info in my head.
I can't seem to do it.
no matter wat i do i can't concentrate.
bother.
i've complained.
i've done evrything i can.
i just can't seem to do anything.
ya tuhan, tolonglah aku.
this term was hectic enuff.
i dun wanna fail my exams.
parents are out.
siblings are rowdy.
i need to go somewhere peaceful.
but i dun wanna leave the comforts of my bed.
i love my bed.
hehehe.
wishing all others good luck for their exams.
i really miss the load of you.
i miss so many pple rite now.
hehehe.
trying to put the info in my head.
I can't seem to do it.
no matter wat i do i can't concentrate.
bother.
i've complained.
i've done evrything i can.
i just can't seem to do anything.
ya tuhan, tolonglah aku.
this term was hectic enuff.
i dun wanna fail my exams.
parents are out.
siblings are rowdy.
i need to go somewhere peaceful.
but i dun wanna leave the comforts of my bed.
i love my bed.
hehehe.
wishing all others good luck for their exams.
i really miss the load of you.
i miss so many pple rite now.
hehehe.
ClazZiQuai CT, 6:51:00 PM
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second instalment.
incident two: sad, well sorta.
Kal came over that time.
the time where hearts were broken and tears were shed over and over.
where i learnt the meaning of being a person, taking charge of myself and learnt independence.
where Kal learnt to be a person,a gentleman.
Kal came with three stalks of roses and a letter.
apologising profusely.
although i din want to see him.
he still came.
wanting me to know he still love me.
wanting me to noe that he will nvr give up persuing me.
after that i sent him away.
too stubborn to give in.
he walked home in the rain.
he din care.
i gave him an umbrella.
he left it outside my hse.
and went off.
okay enuff.
no more sad memories for me.
need to go off. dad wants me to go do hsewerk.
ppmn bngn lmbt, he says we treat the hse like hotel.
lelaki bgn lambt, he nvr says anything.
the way my father's mind works.
incident two: sad, well sorta.
Kal came over that time.
the time where hearts were broken and tears were shed over and over.
where i learnt the meaning of being a person, taking charge of myself and learnt independence.
where Kal learnt to be a person,a gentleman.
Kal came with three stalks of roses and a letter.
apologising profusely.
although i din want to see him.
he still came.
wanting me to know he still love me.
wanting me to noe that he will nvr give up persuing me.
after that i sent him away.
too stubborn to give in.
he walked home in the rain.
he din care.
i gave him an umbrella.
he left it outside my hse.
and went off.
okay enuff.
no more sad memories for me.
need to go off. dad wants me to go do hsewerk.
ppmn bngn lmbt, he says we treat the hse like hotel.
lelaki bgn lambt, he nvr says anything.
the way my father's mind works.
ClazZiQuai CT, 10:24:00 AM
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i'm hearing thunder and seeing lightning flashing across the sky.
and i started thinking of incidents.
funny and sad.
first incident:funny.
my youngest brother, aka Polat, was sitting down in the living room minding his own business.
suddenly, it started raining cats N dogs.
Mother and me and my sisters were doing our respective things.
Polat went to the boy's room window and started crying.
WB and me entered the room and were questioning each other regarding Polat.
Finally, we got the answer.
"i'in takot air naik sampai atas. Nanti banjir!!"
by then, WB and me were rofl.
dat was hilarious.
i'll put in the sad instalment later.
its raining.there's lightning.
now i wonder i can't use electronic stuff while there's lightning??
and i started thinking of incidents.
funny and sad.
first incident:funny.
my youngest brother, aka Polat, was sitting down in the living room minding his own business.
suddenly, it started raining cats N dogs.
Mother and me and my sisters were doing our respective things.
Polat went to the boy's room window and started crying.
WB and me entered the room and were questioning each other regarding Polat.
Finally, we got the answer.
"i'in takot air naik sampai atas. Nanti banjir!!"
by then, WB and me were rofl.
dat was hilarious.
i'll put in the sad instalment later.
its raining.there's lightning.
now i wonder i can't use electronic stuff while there's lightning??
ClazZiQuai CT, 1:37:00 AM
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somehow, i feel like i am in a love-hate relationship with Kal.
i sometimes hate the thing he wants me to do even though i love him to bits.
i dunno whether u understand wat i am saying.
i am having difficulty breathin for the past few days.
my chest and ribs feel compressed tight that even wearing ehem is uncomfortable.
i am trying to take slow deep breaths even as we speak.
I feel like i am gonna lose this relationship with Kal somehow.
I feel so tired just being a good GF.
I AM trying so hard to make evrything work.
and he doesn't noe.
in fact no one does.
Kal thinks i am full of myself.
he thinks that he is the one always compromising.
wat about me?
wat about wat i do?
i nvr ask for anything in return.
just for u to understand how things wrk for me.
its so difficult.just so difficult for u to understand.is it?
i sometimes hate the thing he wants me to do even though i love him to bits.
i dunno whether u understand wat i am saying.
i am having difficulty breathin for the past few days.
my chest and ribs feel compressed tight that even wearing ehem is uncomfortable.
i am trying to take slow deep breaths even as we speak.
I feel like i am gonna lose this relationship with Kal somehow.
I feel so tired just being a good GF.
I AM trying so hard to make evrything work.
and he doesn't noe.
in fact no one does.
Kal thinks i am full of myself.
he thinks that he is the one always compromising.
wat about me?
wat about wat i do?
i nvr ask for anything in return.
just for u to understand how things wrk for me.
its so difficult.just so difficult for u to understand.is it?
Labels: why are u doing this?
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:52:00 AM
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2.5.09
completed writing down notes for PR and JNB.
i still dunno whether they are at all complete but i noe i tried my best.
sitting down for hours and hours from yesterday and today.
i hope its gonna pay off.
kabulkanlah doa ku ya tuhan.
I still have ASEP and TVRP notes to complete.
ASEP book is oh-so- heavy to lug around.
oh well.
back to work.
the best of luck to my sisterhood $1 and that guy hu's hair is always crazy.
not forgetting those hu i hvn't mentioned.
toodles.
i still dunno whether they are at all complete but i noe i tried my best.
sitting down for hours and hours from yesterday and today.
i hope its gonna pay off.
kabulkanlah doa ku ya tuhan.
I still have ASEP and TVRP notes to complete.
ASEP book is oh-so- heavy to lug around.
oh well.
back to work.
the best of luck to my sisterhood $1 and that guy hu's hair is always crazy.
not forgetting those hu i hvn't mentioned.
toodles.
ClazZiQuai CT, 5:17:00 PM
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