30.9.09
i've known pple that do diets even if they are stick thin.
I was once obsessed with keeping thin.
I dunno why, maybe I thot that I was getting fat when I saw
that my boobs were getting bigger.
a lil too big.
After I learned that its naturally the way it is and it doesn't matter
whether u were once fat or thin.
anyway.
I found this while I was browsing thru msn website
to find smt to read.
Its just uber shocking of how people in other parts
of the world, are doing and getting on all the fasts programme
just to get thin.
How mass media is so influencing.
goodness.
i'm not sure how to link it.
just copy and past it if it doesn't work.
=D
http://health.msn.com/weight-loss/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100243701>1=31034
I was once obsessed with keeping thin.
I dunno why, maybe I thot that I was getting fat when I saw
that my boobs were getting bigger.
a lil too big.
After I learned that its naturally the way it is and it doesn't matter
whether u were once fat or thin.
anyway.
I found this while I was browsing thru msn website
to find smt to read.
Its just uber shocking of how people in other parts
of the world, are doing and getting on all the fasts programme
just to get thin.
How mass media is so influencing.
goodness.
i'm not sure how to link it.
just copy and past it if it doesn't work.
=D
http://health.msn.com/weight-loss/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100243701>1=31034
ClazZiQuai CT, 1:03:00 PM
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29.9.09
i am back from destressing.
I m haviing some probs rite now.
which i dun wish to disclose.
and all jobs have to be on hold.
interview tadi pagi din go.
last min coz of it.
I noe, so much problem.
I have to go now.
Actually btol2 ngah tension about alot of things.
p.s. sisterhood$1: I can't wait to meet u babes!!
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:41:00 AM
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27.9.09
had quite a long day.
tuition in the morning, then lepak @ my uncle's hse.
then went to BPP with my Ati; bought some books
and balik.
Parents were out the whole day,
went to johor, visit my uncle yang menetap disana.
Very lethargic and tired.
Tml interview @ sembawang.
fingers crossed!
hopefully get.
=D
tuition in the morning, then lepak @ my uncle's hse.
then went to BPP with my Ati; bought some books
and balik.
Parents were out the whole day,
went to johor, visit my uncle yang menetap disana.
Very lethargic and tired.
Tml interview @ sembawang.
fingers crossed!
hopefully get.
=D
ClazZiQuai CT, 8:59:00 PM
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Kompang Pipi.
went raya-ing at dorset just now.
then to Yishun, Teck Whye.
Then balik.
Thru out the whole outing, I just felt irritated.
And I found out who passed to me the headlice unintentionally.
Irritated as I was, going out with the bunch of jovial and chubby-wubby cousins and uncle
plus his wife of course,
made me laugh my sorrows away.
Their antics are always hilarious.
Kal's down with fever, and he still has to go to work.
three days straight.
Bloody F1 thing.
Irritated also with one of my uncles,
who was like trying to diss me.
He wanted me to feel bad that I din continue study after Sec,
so he said to my siblings who are going to take major exams,
"Do well and I will give u smt."
Like wth,
When I had a major exam, where was the support??
I am always left out okay.
ALWAYS.
Aiyah. dunno lah.
malas nak fikir.
There will always be smt that u will do that will not please evryone.
and then there was this mkcik, when i salam she gave me money and then,
her sister was like, "Why u give her the money?
She muke dah mcm Mak orng."
In my heart, I was like, wth, mkck ni btul tak syng mulut.
And rite now, I have always been in the foulest of moods.
Evry small thing pisses me off.
Even the necessary haircut.
Maybe I am just not used to it.
Or maybe it just doesn't suit me.
ClazZiQuai CT, 1:00:00 AM
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24.9.09
hits and misses
I miss my long hair seriously.
Now I have to make do with this short and haywire hair.
its a third wavy, a third curly and the rest is straight.
I haven't rebonded my hair yet.
I've checked the pricing @ the salon downstairs.
A hefty $150.
and dat's the cheapest.
I did my rebonding once down there,
and it I took the packcage which has in the middle pricing:$ 120.
wat happened.
And the $150 even applies to short hair.
-_-"
met Kal yest.
He helped me pull out all the extra dead things in my hair.
yeap, both like monyets; one on the toilet bowl, the other on the toilet floor(its dry)
search for the lice.
Armed with a bucket half filled with water and fingers,
he slowly scoured my oh-so-tebal-nak-mampus hair.
I am having goosebumps just recalling it.
stopped by Macs BP after that.
hungry.heehee.
then, while eating, thru the reflection, I saw Zalikha and Aisyah.
They: From enemies to best frens.
my old schoolmates and ex fren.
I noe they saw me and I just observed them thru the reflection.
They hesitated as they walked in.
and walked pass us very quickly.
I noe wat happened btwn me and them was a long time ago.
And it was my fault.
I did apologise thru my public apology in facebook.
I dunno whether they saw it.
Even though we were once in the same clique with
Radhika and Deborah and Suhaila,
I expected them to at least tegur.
Radhika did tegur me in facebook,
but it was only dat once and she sounded a bit bitchy.
Well, its the truth.
Wat's over is over kan.
And I made some very good frens while in MDIS.
And I have been able to live without them.
cry, laugh, sing without them.
Its not my ego talking.
Its reality.
okay. i have to scoot.
update more soon.
anyone, suggest me a place where the rebonding is good, cheaper that $120 and has treatment and cut.
ClazZiQuai CT, 10:57:00 AM
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23.9.09
Battle
so here's my so-the-tak senonoh hair.
I just chopped it off yesterday coz of the lice problem.
after leaving the lice lotion overnight,
after scratching like some mad mongrel,
although I would like to declare myself lice-free,
I would only be able to do that a week l8er.
=(
alhamdulillah, my head has no more
funny crawling sensations.
And alhamdulillah, after following the instructions on the
manual, I washed off and shampooed and combed,
All the dead lice dan lorry2 nya fell off.
Insyaallah, I won't get it again forever.
Amin.
If i were to get re-infested, I would have to wait
for another week,
b4 I get to re-apply that same lotion.
anyway, all I can do now, is pray,
and sikat rambut with that Japanese comb.
Pray for me ya.=D
I m going to go rebond my hair now.
Kal suggested it so its easier to run my comb thru it.
the funny thing is.
lice prefer clean hair and the african american dun get them.
hmm....
I just chopped it off yesterday coz of the lice problem.
after leaving the lice lotion overnight,
after scratching like some mad mongrel,
although I would like to declare myself lice-free,
I would only be able to do that a week l8er.
=(
alhamdulillah, my head has no more
funny crawling sensations.
And alhamdulillah, after following the instructions on the
manual, I washed off and shampooed and combed,
All the dead lice dan lorry2 nya fell off.
Insyaallah, I won't get it again forever.
Amin.
If i were to get re-infested, I would have to wait
for another week,
b4 I get to re-apply that same lotion.
anyway, all I can do now, is pray,
and sikat rambut with that Japanese comb.
Pray for me ya.=D
I m going to go rebond my hair now.
Kal suggested it so its easier to run my comb thru it.
the funny thing is.
lice prefer clean hair and the african american dun get them.
hmm....
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:01:00 PM
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22.9.09
I have to confess that
My hair has been infested with headlice.
wtfhmf.
ARGH!!!!!!!
I have no idea where it came form and from who.
All I care about now, is getting rid of those
irritating things.
If you have a sensitive touch or scalp,
You could actually feel it crawling thru
your hair and on the scalp.
It freaking me out.
I just went to CCK polyclinic in the morning,
and hell, it was a torture just not to keep scratching.
The lice are just going thru evrywhere and I am
seriously at my wits end.
After the visit to the doc, I went to ARIES and quickly bought
a shower cap, that Japanese comb, and some other stuff.
I got home and my mum asked me to cut my hair even shorter.
I haphzardly snip off my hair so now,
its looking funny and I look horrible.
I wanna cry.
My beautiful hair.
gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My hair has been infested with headlice.
wtfhmf.
ARGH!!!!!!!
I have no idea where it came form and from who.
All I care about now, is getting rid of those
irritating things.
If you have a sensitive touch or scalp,
You could actually feel it crawling thru
your hair and on the scalp.
It freaking me out.
I just went to CCK polyclinic in the morning,
and hell, it was a torture just not to keep scratching.
The lice are just going thru evrywhere and I am
seriously at my wits end.
After the visit to the doc, I went to ARIES and quickly bought
a shower cap, that Japanese comb, and some other stuff.
I got home and my mum asked me to cut my hair even shorter.
I haphzardly snip off my hair so now,
its looking funny and I look horrible.
I wanna cry.
My beautiful hair.
gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ClazZiQuai CT, 3:23:00 PM
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20.9.09
To start of the post, its the morning of Eid.
Its quite a cold morning.
anyway.
I would like this post to go out to all the muslims
celebrating Eid today,
either lavishly or just mediocre,
Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin.
To those who noe me,
I would like to seek ur forgiveness for any of my past
wrongdoings towards any of you and halalkan makan minum ye..
Let's start fresh and new.
hee... I'm tearing up..
=')
I am happie that before Syawal came,
I had made new friends and got to solve one big prob.
Alhamdulillah.
I am HAPPIE that I get to fulfill one of my post b'dae wishes too.
I hope as a new 20YO,
I'll be a better person, daughter, girlfriend, friend, bestfriend...
the list goes on.
I pray that things will be better post Syawal.
And may all of us dimurahkan rezeki and always be contented with what we have.
gtg now, wanna get ready and kiss my mum's hand.
cant wait.
Its quite a cold morning.
anyway.
I would like this post to go out to all the muslims
celebrating Eid today,
either lavishly or just mediocre,
Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin.
To those who noe me,
I would like to seek ur forgiveness for any of my past
wrongdoings towards any of you and halalkan makan minum ye..
Let's start fresh and new.
hee... I'm tearing up..
=')
I am happie that before Syawal came,
I had made new friends and got to solve one big prob.
Alhamdulillah.
I am HAPPIE that I get to fulfill one of my post b'dae wishes too.
I hope as a new 20YO,
I'll be a better person, daughter, girlfriend, friend, bestfriend...
the list goes on.
I pray that things will be better post Syawal.
And may all of us dimurahkan rezeki and always be contented with what we have.
gtg now, wanna get ready and kiss my mum's hand.
cant wait.
ClazZiQuai CT, 6:53:00 AM
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18.9.09
I've baked choco chip cookies.
Had saved some for Kal.
But as usual, that ass has to suddenly flit off sumwhere,
without any warning and has no courtesy of sms-ing or calling me.
sweet kan.
He promised to meet me today.
but yeah.
I haven't been in anyone's good book nowadays
and its practically making me lose control of my mood swing.
I have been very cranky and I feel like shit.
Again, I dun need extra boost of shitiness from that mofo.
Ignore my language.
While patience is a virtue, how long can anyone stay patient?
Ask me if you wanna noe.
Patient has been my middle name.
Pple like to take advantage of it.
And some even mistaking it for nice-ness.
to a point where some of frens label me as too nice.
Yeah I let pple like that mofo, step over my head.
But I am like you too, I have feelings dumbass.
I feel so much better.
Had saved some for Kal.
But as usual, that ass has to suddenly flit off sumwhere,
without any warning and has no courtesy of sms-ing or calling me.
sweet kan.
He promised to meet me today.
but yeah.
I haven't been in anyone's good book nowadays
and its practically making me lose control of my mood swing.
I have been very cranky and I feel like shit.
Again, I dun need extra boost of shitiness from that mofo.
Ignore my language.
While patience is a virtue, how long can anyone stay patient?
Ask me if you wanna noe.
Patient has been my middle name.
Pple like to take advantage of it.
And some even mistaking it for nice-ness.
to a point where some of frens label me as too nice.
Yeah I let pple like that mofo, step over my head.
But I am like you too, I have feelings dumbass.
I feel so much better.
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:16:00 AM
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17.9.09
ClazZiQuai CT, 3:26:00 PM
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I was deep in thoughts that I din realise my sister was standing beside me
calling me since like 3 mins ago.
I feel the need to write evrything down.
But I then I thought again, I shouldn't.
nvm.
Well,to start off, I am disturbed.
by the fact that evrything's the way it is right now.
That the situation starts to repeat itself.
I start to feel like how I felt when it happened.
But maybe I am way too paranoid.
or its just a coincidence.
Somehow, others get better in time together.
Some others don't.
Mine is the latter.
Should I just forget that it happened once b4 or should I do something bout it?
I've done all I can.
Or maybe I am just too controlling?
Wait a sec, I never control pple's lives.
I still rmbered what my aunt said yesterday.
We plan, He plans.
But His planning will always be better than ours.
I have had my own plans.
And it always ends up differently than I had expected.
Life has spiralled downwards since than.
I know I have to get out of this vicious cycle but I somehow can't.
Knowing that every second and minute it kills my willpower
to just carry on a day more or so.
I've had chances and opportunities too,
but I always back out at the eleventh hour.
I did what I did coz it felt right at that moment in time.
I was too caught up with wanting to do what I want.
Its got me to a point where my parents and I cannot see things eye to eye.
And my parents still treat me like I am a 12 year old kid.
with curfews and scoldings and beatings.
yes, I still do get beaten up.
I've done things all these while,
to please my parents and others.
Pleasing myself is like finding fault with my parents.
My parents are the really old fashioned kind.
They want us, their children, to behave just like them
in the olden times.
which stresses me out a lot.
I dunno why but it does.
I have to end here now.
Since I have nth else to type down.
ClazZiQuai CT, 5:39:00 AM
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16.9.09
Yeay!!! Lagu dah boleh!!
heheh..
I suddenly miss Kal.
hmm.
GTG!
Sleeping Time.
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:27:00 AM
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15.9.09
leceh btol arh mixpod ni.
stupid.
I changed and edited the songs.
Now it can't seem to play them.
It was fine yesterday.
Had spent a surprisingly calming and good
quality time with Kal.
=]
I realised that we may have our weaknesses and strengths.
But they may be vice versa, in different situations.
So maybe @ times, when we have different qualities,
We need to learn to use them @ the right time.
But to err is human.
No one was born perfect.
ClazZiQuai CT, 11:45:00 PM
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14.9.09
I am watching Pinggiran Ramadhan rite now.
Sedih tngk cerite ni.
boleh nangis evrytime watch this.
anyhu... my thumb got injured. sorta.
was frying hotdogs in bread, and accidently dipped my hand
together with it in the hot oil.
Hurt like hell.
Ibu suggested to put colgate on it.
I tried rubbing ice on it.
soothed for a while, but the pain was really excruciating.
That aside, I can't wait to Raya.
hahaha. Mcm tak sabar2 g2.
Baju Raya sepasang pun jadi.
Actually, takde baju raye baru pun tak kisah.
I just cannot wait to meet my relatives.
The onli year where evryone can reallie come together.
hmm...
Speaking of celebrations, I have yet to hand in the Grad ceremony form.
Must come down school by this Wed.
Ibu might be coming.
The thing is its on the same day as my cousin's wedding.
So how??
Tngk mcm maner eh.
ClazZiQuai CT, 9:43:00 PM
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13.9.09
THANK YOU BERRY2 MUCH!!
thank you to all those who wished me
HAPPI BIRTHDAY!! and I really hope all ur well wishes and doa
dikabulkan.
AMIN!!
okay dah!!
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:07:00 AM
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11.9.09
Kuih Raya
I got the surat to attend grad ceremony!!!
korang2!! cepat check letter box!!
ader3!! hehehehe...
we go to-gether2 nak tak??!!!
over excited!!giler...
i jus finished cleaning windows.
tired like hell.
now have to go off to Mak's hse.
tuition. dreadful.
Ibu made kuih tak tau aper jadi a.k.a. kuih samprit/dahlia yang too hard too pipe.
then i helped her make tart nenas gulung!!
hahah...
sedap...
today maybe making cornflakes!!
i am doubly rajin nowadays..
but I will miss Ramadhan!!
its sad that its passing by soo fast.
Ayah found out bout the $34.35 library fine...
I NOE!!
but I paid for it a long2 time ago oredi!!
so this mnth very the pokai..
my eyes and head are hurting..
wanna sleep.. but i have to go off oredi..
i'll drop by again soon.
ClazZiQuai CT, 11:00:00 AM
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9.9.09
can i say that i hate you to the core rite now??
i feel so damn bloody frust and feel like banging someone's head
on the wall.
aku nak cekik2 kau.
u made my life miserable and u say that I made u miserable.
U're really asking for one big kick in the nuts u noe.
ARGH!!!!
stupid.
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:17:00 AM
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8.9.09
unusual as things seem rite now,
I have a lot of worries in my mind.
constant fear of a lot of things.
Its the middle of the fasting month and things seem a little strange
in my house.
The feeling is very unsettling and its making me so
fidgety.
I just can't put a finger on wat it is.
I am happie for my friends for being where they are.
hehe.
they say you reap what you sow.
most of them are pursuing careers and such.
some are going for further studies.
as for me,
I am still struggling.
God noes when my rezeki is coming in.
But i am happie enuff that I can help pay @ least the bill under my
name.
I just need serious budgeting.
If my family of 8 has been like forever surviving on my
father's income of $ 1700++,
with the perfect budgeting skills of my mum,
why can't I?
hehe.
i noe.
that's all my update for today.
toodles.
I have a lot of worries in my mind.
constant fear of a lot of things.
Its the middle of the fasting month and things seem a little strange
in my house.
The feeling is very unsettling and its making me so
fidgety.
I just can't put a finger on wat it is.
I am happie for my friends for being where they are.
hehe.
they say you reap what you sow.
most of them are pursuing careers and such.
some are going for further studies.
as for me,
I am still struggling.
God noes when my rezeki is coming in.
But i am happie enuff that I can help pay @ least the bill under my
name.
I just need serious budgeting.
If my family of 8 has been like forever surviving on my
father's income of $ 1700++,
with the perfect budgeting skills of my mum,
why can't I?
hehe.
i noe.
that's all my update for today.
toodles.
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:08:00 AM
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2.9.09
Darah up?
it seems that evryone is angry @ smt and someone today.
first my mom.
dat one angry, nvr ending.
nvr want to talk to me nor even smile @ me.
I'm used to it actually.
then we have my uncle.
not gonna mention which.
but i was with WB and GH @ his house.
his wife, my makcik, was talking to us and
WB was playing the piano.
then he came out, started saying something, marah3,
went inside the kitchen, continued his ramblings,
then exited the kitchen, followed by a loud banging of cockery and
spills of fork and spoon.
and he went inside his room slamming the door behind him.
after the very shocking cabaret, my sis and I
took all our things and went home.
I thank my aunt many2 for buying us, her nieces, something to bring home.
another figure, is syuhaidah.
well after the incident just now, she just went quiet
with that angry expression on her face.
how is it that pple can express their anger and get away with it?
i've tried but all the times i did it, it always gets backfired.
So it was from then on, I stopped trying to express my anger and
rather keep all the feelings to myself.
which of course, is unhealthy.
Kal says, I am a ticking time bomb.
when I had enough, I will just blow my fuse.
and when that happens, I will do unspeakable things.
maybe.
first my mom.
dat one angry, nvr ending.
nvr want to talk to me nor even smile @ me.
I'm used to it actually.
then we have my uncle.
not gonna mention which.
but i was with WB and GH @ his house.
his wife, my makcik, was talking to us and
WB was playing the piano.
then he came out, started saying something, marah3,
went inside the kitchen, continued his ramblings,
then exited the kitchen, followed by a loud banging of cockery and
spills of fork and spoon.
and he went inside his room slamming the door behind him.
after the very shocking cabaret, my sis and I
took all our things and went home.
I thank my aunt many2 for buying us, her nieces, something to bring home.
another figure, is syuhaidah.
well after the incident just now, she just went quiet
with that angry expression on her face.
how is it that pple can express their anger and get away with it?
i've tried but all the times i did it, it always gets backfired.
So it was from then on, I stopped trying to express my anger and
rather keep all the feelings to myself.
which of course, is unhealthy.
Kal says, I am a ticking time bomb.
when I had enough, I will just blow my fuse.
and when that happens, I will do unspeakable things.
maybe.
ClazZiQuai CT, 11:10:00 PM
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1.9.09
behind the scenes
Khidir's has been discharged from KKH yesterday evening.
alhamdulillah he's fine.
I have yet to noe the doctor's diagnosis.
I am just happy dat he's back home.
Wat happen on Sat was really shocking.
I din expect it to be so bad.
I wasn't home though.
So i din really get the full monty till I got back and
WB told me the whole story.
He has been having this condition for the past year now.
While I am still kept in the dark bout his diagnosis,
I have had the opp to encounter it b4.
and it saddens me,
to see my worried mum and the frantic call she made to me and Alien, twice,
in one single nite.
He's helpless when it strikes, and it just
made me more worried thinking about it.
Wat will happen if it strikes when he's just walking down
the road alone?
or crossing a busy street?
or walking in a dark secluded area?
how? how? how?
I can just shudder @ the gruesome thought.
I pray so hard dat will nvr happen.
amin.
alhamdulillah he's fine.
I have yet to noe the doctor's diagnosis.
I am just happy dat he's back home.
Wat happen on Sat was really shocking.
I din expect it to be so bad.
I wasn't home though.
So i din really get the full monty till I got back and
WB told me the whole story.
He has been having this condition for the past year now.
While I am still kept in the dark bout his diagnosis,
I have had the opp to encounter it b4.
and it saddens me,
to see my worried mum and the frantic call she made to me and Alien, twice,
in one single nite.
He's helpless when it strikes, and it just
made me more worried thinking about it.
Wat will happen if it strikes when he's just walking down
the road alone?
or crossing a busy street?
or walking in a dark secluded area?
how? how? how?
I can just shudder @ the gruesome thought.
I pray so hard dat will nvr happen.
amin.
ClazZiQuai CT, 7:46:00 AM
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