16.8.09
Lampost
am ignored at home like a fly on a wall.
Ibu does not want to talk to me directly.
as if I have some kind of disease.
wat have i done, I have no idea.
Ayah doing the same too.
Polat is just being plain rude.
Here's wat I see:
comparing to the layanan given to my siblings and me.
i've always felt, like the odd one out.
I sometimes just have the feeling that I dun belong.
My parents have always given me the pressure of being a good role model.
I have a lil of a naughty streak.
And tend to be rebellious towards my parents @ times.
though I did hurt them.
I always say sorrie and try to mend my ways.
esp for the Major issues.
but it always ends up me being ignored.
even how nice sincerely nice and filial I be.
In contrast, my other siblings are given their attn 24/7, 365.
my mum will always ask them wat she wun in a million years ask me,
" dah mkn? kalau blom, ibu ader tinggalkan makanan sikit tu."
she nvr leaves me any food.
no one ever has.
I do it all the time, even though sometimes the food mmng sikit,
i will always set aside at least three suaps of something.
another big contrast is the attn she gives to those having major exams.
when I had my PSLE, O levels, she nvr bothered with me about smbhyng extras,
bace surah aper during belajar, or during exam.
whether i had any problems in sch or with frens.
With my adek2, its a different story.
she is so concerned that she prepares dinner make sure they eat,
do their work, fuss over their schoolwork.
make sure they are healthy,
if they are sick, she will make sure they eat mediction and porridge.
I have been feeling this way for years.
there was nvr a time when i can actually feel like a daughter and appreciated.
The situation now is worse as
my family members are treating me like I am a housemaid.
they dun care aboutthe cleanliness of the toilet,
which sometimes reeks of urine.
I guess the toilet bowl isn't big enuff.
Housechores are all pushed to me.
laundry, sweeping, washing, hanging, drying, mopping.
one day, I might as well just sit at home and be a housewife, instead of my mum.
Respect btwn me and my siblings are just...
senanng kata, they have no respect for me,
and they take me as a maid in the house.
might as well just disappear.
it seems no one cares abt me anymore.
Ibu does not want to talk to me directly.
as if I have some kind of disease.
wat have i done, I have no idea.
Ayah doing the same too.
Polat is just being plain rude.
Here's wat I see:
comparing to the layanan given to my siblings and me.
i've always felt, like the odd one out.
I sometimes just have the feeling that I dun belong.
My parents have always given me the pressure of being a good role model.
I have a lil of a naughty streak.
And tend to be rebellious towards my parents @ times.
though I did hurt them.
I always say sorrie and try to mend my ways.
esp for the Major issues.
but it always ends up me being ignored.
even how nice sincerely nice and filial I be.
In contrast, my other siblings are given their attn 24/7, 365.
my mum will always ask them wat she wun in a million years ask me,
" dah mkn? kalau blom, ibu ader tinggalkan makanan sikit tu."
she nvr leaves me any food.
no one ever has.
I do it all the time, even though sometimes the food mmng sikit,
i will always set aside at least three suaps of something.
another big contrast is the attn she gives to those having major exams.
when I had my PSLE, O levels, she nvr bothered with me about smbhyng extras,
bace surah aper during belajar, or during exam.
whether i had any problems in sch or with frens.
With my adek2, its a different story.
she is so concerned that she prepares dinner make sure they eat,
do their work, fuss over their schoolwork.
make sure they are healthy,
if they are sick, she will make sure they eat mediction and porridge.
I have been feeling this way for years.
there was nvr a time when i can actually feel like a daughter and appreciated.
The situation now is worse as
my family members are treating me like I am a housemaid.
they dun care aboutthe cleanliness of the toilet,
which sometimes reeks of urine.
I guess the toilet bowl isn't big enuff.
Housechores are all pushed to me.
laundry, sweeping, washing, hanging, drying, mopping.
one day, I might as well just sit at home and be a housewife, instead of my mum.
Respect btwn me and my siblings are just...
senanng kata, they have no respect for me,
and they take me as a maid in the house.
might as well just disappear.
it seems no one cares abt me anymore.
ClazZiQuai CT, 8:54:00 PM
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