12.3.10
So Hard.
Oppa met my father this morning while on the way to work.
He got lectured.
Apparently my father thinks that I do not know how to care of myself.
And I do not know how to do things in a certain manner.
Now I find myself asking, why?
I cannot say that I am perfect enough to be a good daughter.
But I certainly know I've tried my best.
I tried my hardest, even though I know I am just doing it just to make them happy.
It causes me great hurt to hear that I am not able to live up to their expectations.
What more do you want from me?
What more?
I've never heard of a girl my age being stopped from doing all the things that she wants in life.
I've been pushing myself to go against my limit just to pacify them.
However, Life isn't always fair.
I really think I took a wrong step somewhere.
But is it just my imagination, or is it my parents are being too paranoid?
I've been crying myself to sleep, thinking what was so wrong?
What was it that I did that took away all those things?
My eyes are swollen and puffy.
Oppa was not being much of a help either.
Sometimes I just cannot read them.
They want me to do everything in the world, while they just watch.
They want me to be examplary.
I am not perfect, was never born perfect and will never be perfect.
So high are my parent's expectations.
Somehow, I don't know, its as if I am just a being in the family, who has to do the housework.
What is it that is so jijik about me, I cannot understand.
Sad to say, I am not getting any happier as I grow older.
I need something to talk to, someone to cry to.
But apparently she's gone forever.
And I miss her so much.
ClazZiQuai CT, 12:24:00 AM
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